tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post1237970486993103848..comments2023-12-14T00:26:40.462-07:00Comments on Submissive Sanctuary: D/s Without Punishment?Stormhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-17977536182237422422013-08-29T12:05:48.517-06:002013-08-29T12:05:48.517-06:00Roxandra,
I agree that the mental type punishments...Roxandra,<br />I agree that the mental type punishments are much harder to handle. I would also say, that those were not really phased out of our relationship lol.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-37678390518228524132013-08-28T17:08:10.970-06:002013-08-28T17:08:10.970-06:00Very interesting and thought provoking and I can s...Very interesting and thought provoking and I can see both sides and guess it comes down to whatever makes the relationship tick. For me though, i submit willingly to my Mistress and accept punishment for my misdemeanours as both a means towards absolution and as a reminder of my place. i don't enjoy it in whatever form it may take and find the mental torment of punishment by denial just as hard as the physical pain of corporal punishment. At least the latter is over more quickly and the sense of absolution comes sooner.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-7951679552033284462013-08-24T19:07:06.851-06:002013-08-24T19:07:06.851-06:00His Slut,
After my conversation with Alpha, I thin...His Slut,<br />After my conversation with Alpha, I think that you have a point--that perhaps "Punishment" Just takes different forms, and whether or not we call it punishment, is simply a matter of perspective and wording...<br /><br />I think that keeping that awareness is really important, but not as easy as it sounds!Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-14018391105109099002013-08-24T19:03:03.248-06:002013-08-24T19:03:03.248-06:00Dee,
well, I'm glad it brought clarity to some...Dee,<br />well, I'm glad it brought clarity to someone, he's gone and dashed my certainty of how things are working lol.<br /><br />I think that you are quite right about the apples!Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-52106182438511551862013-08-24T19:02:05.468-06:002013-08-24T19:02:05.468-06:00Angel,
always nice to hear from someone of alike m...Angel,<br />always nice to hear from someone of alike mind.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-73783754994440574262013-08-24T19:01:38.956-06:002013-08-24T19:01:38.956-06:00Misty & DelFonte,
aww, you guys really are too...Misty & DelFonte,<br />aww, you guys really are too sweet. <br />Now if only I could manage to see my writing in a somewhat similar light...Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-49838332241400229532013-08-24T19:00:14.052-06:002013-08-24T19:00:14.052-06:00Roz,
SIgh* there may be a slightly contradictory p...Roz,<br />SIgh* there may be a slightly contradictory post in my near future. The man is an enigma.<br /><br />The clean slate is a beautiful thing!Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-54201848484022625882013-08-24T18:59:26.183-06:002013-08-24T18:59:26.183-06:00Brigit,
I don't have a Catholic background, bu...Brigit,<br />I don't have a Catholic background, but I can totally understand what you mean!<br /><br />I think that owning the behavior is huge. And yes, disappointment is really its own form of punishment.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-15789765853145829752013-08-24T18:57:40.849-06:002013-08-24T18:57:40.849-06:00Faerie,
I think that however D/s works best for th...Faerie,<br />I think that however D/s works best for the individuals involved is how it was meant to be...<br /><br />It's good to see you around. <br />Hope that you are doing alright. Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-19181337857292366032013-08-24T18:53:56.058-06:002013-08-24T18:53:56.058-06:00ksst,
I agree completely with your approach. That ...ksst,<br />I agree completely with your approach. That is pretty much how it has always worked for us.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-57278288184386586942013-08-24T18:52:43.915-06:002013-08-24T18:52:43.915-06:00tori,
odd to me that you would feel like the odd o...tori,<br />odd to me that you would feel like the odd one out--when it comes to this topic, I often feel like the odd one out lol.<br />But I'm glad you shared your thoughts! Because that is really how I have always felt about punishment, and I think that is how it should be for punishment to be a healthy aspect of D/s.<br /><br />Like I told gg, Alpha and I had a half conversation that left me somewhat bemused...Apparently he thinks I need to clarify that I don't lead a punishment free life--he just chooses methods besides the traditional.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-40126613207300311482013-08-24T18:46:40.290-06:002013-08-24T18:46:40.290-06:00Loki,
Oh, I think that "explaining" can ...Loki,<br />Oh, I think that "explaining" can be an important component. <br />He's not a micromanager himself. Sometimes I wish he was, then I think about it and wonder if I have a screw loose.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-20915793358200393642013-08-24T18:45:02.594-06:002013-08-24T18:45:02.594-06:00gg,
Ooh, whiplash is painful!
My mention of this ...gg,<br />Ooh, whiplash is painful!<br /><br />My mention of this post raised an interesting half conversation with him about how he sees it as not exactly being without punishment. Perhaps we are talking the semantics between discipline and punishment...Haven't figured that out yet lol.<br /><br />And yes, it does work...Whatever exactly "It" is...Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-26479988220207913482013-08-24T18:43:04.246-06:002013-08-24T18:43:04.246-06:00sunnygirl,
I tried to cover the bases!
I think tha...sunnygirl,<br />I tried to cover the bases!<br />I think that not all D/s with punishment works around fear of the punishment itself. Fear is an interesting thing...Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-41066787444775499192013-08-24T17:29:15.557-06:002013-08-24T17:29:15.557-06:00I knew I wouldn't be the only one!I knew I wouldn't be the only one!Mistyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07931554793023459482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-31486799266394996172013-08-24T16:52:25.352-06:002013-08-24T16:52:25.352-06:00Great post. I do think in some D/s dynamic punishm...Great post. I do think in some D/s dynamic punishment is not wanted or needed. Though, I wonder if punishment is there but it's more mental than physical. I know right now I'm deciding which way will work for the dynamic with Sir, but I'm still conflicted. <br /><br />I don't think punishment questions my submission, I think of it more as correcting an unfavorable behavior. Sometimes, for me, I don't realize I'm doing that unfavorable behavior. I can say since my punishment I'm more aware of it. That punishment is so fresh so I'm not sure how long my awareness will hold until I'm testing those boundaries again. <br /><br />One thing is for sure, D/s has many paths, and no two paths will be the same. <br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-65669587844418228912013-08-24T14:40:55.676-06:002013-08-24T14:40:55.676-06:00Another post that had me thinking more in-depth an...Another post that had me thinking more in-depth and understanding where you're coming from. Then reading the comments and Tori's in particular, understanding also, where she's coming from. I dunno now lol! We're all kinda different apples but from the same tree huh? :)<br /><br />Dee xDeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04850836843301245812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-42131046850330044232013-08-24T12:07:23.054-06:002013-08-24T12:07:23.054-06:00I totally agree and so would Daddy.I totally agree and so would Daddy.Tiffanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04805071633671355739noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-7936040043861416212013-08-24T09:46:24.167-06:002013-08-24T09:46:24.167-06:00Welcome to the Lil should write a book club :)Welcome to the Lil should write a book club :)DelFontehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02877826634987802545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-80406767734389958692013-08-24T08:03:33.030-06:002013-08-24T08:03:33.030-06:00I'm still so new to all of this and the though...I'm still so new to all of this and the thought didn't even cross my mind. You have definitely given me something to think about. <br />I feel the need to tell you that I LOVE how you write. You explain things in a beautiful way, not just this post but all of them. You should write a book- seriously!Mistyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07931554793023459482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-23042323710007830802013-08-24T04:48:39.806-06:002013-08-24T04:48:39.806-06:00Hi Lil,
This is a great post and as always, very ...Hi Lil,<br /><br />This is a great post and as always, very well said. I totally understand the reasoning.<br /><br />For us, things work very much as Tori has described above. For us, it is also about accountability and being able to move past the issue at hand and move forward with a clean slate.<br /><br />Hugs,<br />RozRozhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14326826956049047973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-46651727827080802042013-08-23T22:26:53.126-06:002013-08-23T22:26:53.126-06:00It's like confession. Going into a little box...It's like confession. Going into a little box...telling someone your sins...waiting for the punishment...and then letting the bad deeds go. It's so much easier than being stuck with it - forced to own up and deal with it.<br /><br />Can you tell I have a bit of a Catholic background? It's probably why D/s works so naturally for me.<br /><br />Daddy does spank me as punishment. And he has made me cry. Intentionally. And yes, it has absolved me to some degree. But the majority of the time - he uses disappointment as its own punishment. And it's so much more effective. <br /><br />But, of course, you have to truly own your behavior and already feel bad about it for it to work. And if you are naturally and easily "guilted", it works even better.<br /><br />I come from a background of being melted to a puddle by a father figure's disappointment. Seems natural that it followed me into marriage.<br /><br />So I totally get that.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15831717334292672743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-50564169484032113982013-08-23T17:33:26.135-06:002013-08-23T17:33:26.135-06:00Ah lil, as always, so well said. You just describe...Ah lil, as always, so well said. You just described how D/s works for us too. We've never had a punishment aspect in our dynamic, and that often led me to question if it really was D/s. I stopped questioning though, cause I did finally see reality. He leads and controls, I follow and submit(most of the time). It's just what works for us. faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-70909712004821139902013-08-23T13:42:41.783-06:002013-08-23T13:42:41.783-06:00I meant to add that we have punishment in our dyna...I meant to add that we have punishment in our dynamic now, but I could imagine a day when he says he is done with it and he just wants me to obey because I said I would, kind of like what your Alpha told you. I don't think I'd like that, but he's the boss :). ancilla_kssthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10968994155747861194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-34780227770357851662013-08-23T13:39:28.071-06:002013-08-23T13:39:28.071-06:00For us, punishment is more about the absolution an...For us, punishment is more about the absolution and clean slate than fear. The fear only comes in disappointing him, and disappointing myself also by not living up to what I said I would do. I don't fear any of his punishments as much as I fear that. And I sure am not made to submit only by punishment. He would never do that. ancilla_kssthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10968994155747861194noreply@blogger.com