tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post5187641252563264630..comments2023-12-14T00:26:40.462-07:00Comments on Submissive Sanctuary: Controversial ConceptsStormhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-53215810813923218042013-05-19T17:55:28.426-06:002013-05-19T17:55:28.426-06:00lil, point taken. Thanks.
*laughing* Sarah if you...lil, point taken. Thanks.<br /><br />*laughing* Sarah if you read that I am trying to say that a long distance relationship is the same as a live in relationship, then I think you may need to read my comments again. My point is, and was, and always will be that they ARE different, but that does not mean that one is better or worse than another, as has been represented here. Again, obviously my thoughts that my relationship is not less than anyone else's because I do not live with Padrone means that somehow I am living in a fantasy world. I am not the one who made those statements, or who made those judgments about anyone else. And since my responses are not in any way welcome here, I exit gracefully. schiavahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10954158336340577824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-3047881978347096392013-05-18T21:41:06.710-06:002013-05-18T21:41:06.710-06:00May I interrupt for just one tiny minute? Thanks.
...May I interrupt for just one tiny minute? Thanks.<br />Having a long distance relationship is not and never will be the same as having a live in relationship. It just isn't. Circumstances are different, elements are different, reactions are different, many, many, many things are different. It's just the way it is because they are not the same.<br /><br />Sorry for the interruption, lil. <br />Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04798113123590131798noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-28293219173542813902013-05-18T20:38:09.626-06:002013-05-18T20:38:09.626-06:00Schiava,
I must admit that I have never taken quit...Schiava,<br />I must admit that I have never taken quite as much issue with a comment as I do with this one. <br /><br />I do not appreciate your apparent need to make barbed remarks about the thoughts that other people have shared here (thoughts that I happen to be in complete agreement with). On my blog. In a conversation that You chose to join in. <br />No one came by and left negative comments about your specific relationship in response to you.<br />Your whole approach is as if the post and the comments all revolve around you and criticism of your relationship. I can assure you, that is not the case.<br /><br />In response to your question, my personal opinion, is that I am not seeking an intimate relationship with any of my fellow bloggers. And that makes all the difference in the world.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-64324161080204367382013-05-18T17:25:20.487-06:002013-05-18T17:25:20.487-06:00lil, I am afraid you misunderstood what I typed, o...lil, I am afraid you misunderstood what I typed, or rather that I typed it in a way that was totally incorrect. I am not offended by your post - but I admit to being offended by some of the comments, which are not your thoughts.<br /><br />I wasn't trying to prove or negate anything - I was answering the questions you posed in your blog. Something that nobody else did, and I felt that I have enough experience in both types of relationships to do. <br /><br />My ex was a terrible person with whom I stayed only long enough for me to find a safe way out. But it took a long, long time with an abusive, controlling jerk to realize the need to escape since I was raised in a "marriage is forever" family.<br /><br />And honestly, there are a lot of people who believe that marriage, or a long term relationship, will make their life better....make them a better person....those who have "Cinderella fantasies" of happily ever after....especially in face to face relationships. Just as there are submisssives who are looking for a "CalgonDom" to take them away, many people are looking for their "Prince Charming" to make them happy. <br /><br />Relationships, imho, can only be happy if each person has realistic expectations of what it can be, and accept realistic limitations of what it cannot be. It is why so many marriages fail, why so many relationships break up, why so many people are so unhappy in relationships...they have unrealistic expectations of what a relationship is and isn't, or can and cannot be. My point is that people check out mentally/emotionally from "dirty sock" relationships, even if they cannot or choose not to leave physically, once the romance or "honeymoon" is over.<br /><br />I have experienced both types of relationships, and several "hybrid" types. Again, even if someone may think I live in a perpetual honeymoon period simply because I do not pick up Padrone's dirty socks, I will simply say that I know whereof I speak, and there is no way possible I would EVER go back to a real relationship with someone who does not care about me as much as Padrone does. <br /><br />And it would make him smile to hear me say that it truly doesn't matter what others think of our relationship, but I've really had this "online=fantasy vs. face-to-face=REALITY" conversation way too often. <br /><br />So, while I obviously did not communicate what I hoped to communicate, I will agree with you that agreeing to disagree is probably the best course. While I can read your words without judging how your relationship occurs, obviously I am not given the same type of respect. That's cool. One does learn as time passes, doesn't one?<br /><br />I would ask, however, how one can consider bloggers that one has never met a "real friend" while one cannot consider a love between people who have never met a "real relationship". I'm actually finding it quite amusing that I have lived, by the standards of many people who have commented here, for 8 years in a fantasy relationship. I obviously have a very rich imagination! And if that's all it is, I'll just stay there because I am happier and more fulfilled than I have ever been in my life! schiavahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10954158336340577824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-27810210450712480972013-05-17T19:25:53.996-06:002013-05-17T19:25:53.996-06:00schiava,
It is unfortunate that, despite my attemp...schiava,<br />It is unfortunate that, despite my attempts at careful wording, you took such offense at this post. <br />Do please accept my apologies for your obvious discomfort with my opinions. <br />While I realize that some people may be offended by this post, such was not my intent.<br /><br />I sincerely hope that your two examples of it being like it was with your ex are incorrect--he does not sound like he was a very nice person at all. <br /><br />I believe that your responses have really illustrated my point about the differences between online and offline relationships, as opposed to negating it.<br />And I completely disagree that someone can truly live in a fantasy relationship when a person is living with them in daily life.<br /><br />We will simply have to agree to disagree. And that is quite alright.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-15686800510621037962013-05-17T19:17:27.625-06:002013-05-17T19:17:27.625-06:00Just quit and get it over with already ;) We'l...Just quit and get it over with already ;) We'll deal with ugly and then move on.... :)Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04798113123590131798noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-53545937838521139762013-05-17T18:56:44.558-06:002013-05-17T18:56:44.558-06:00K Heart,
Thank you!K Heart,<br />Thank you!Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-58797494063657062342013-05-17T18:56:28.572-06:002013-05-17T18:56:28.572-06:00tori,
I could probably install the "like"...tori,<br />I could probably install the "like" thingy...But then people might just click it instead of commenting! So, everyone's inconvenience leads to my happiness. I must be more childlike than I thought lol.<br /><br />Yea...It's a very sensitive subject lol.<br /><br />Kaya did sum it up quite well didn't she?Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-62209064475568516682013-05-17T18:54:46.838-06:002013-05-17T18:54:46.838-06:00wednesday child,
When he's being a Dom-ass...I...wednesday child,<br />When he's being a Dom-ass...I try to let him know it and stay out of trouble at the same time. Apparently it's a fine art which I have yet to fully master lol.<br />And yes, there's no off, or walk away. It's different when you don't have those choices, I think.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-18821436666682408062013-05-17T18:53:07.002-06:002013-05-17T18:53:07.002-06:00Jodi,
Oh no worries--Hijack away!
I would imagine...Jodi,<br />Oh no worries--Hijack away!<br /><br />I would imagine that it could be very difficult to not have that personal contact. Every form of relationship comes with unique challenges that are dependent on the individuals and their situations.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-37445090559065505962013-05-17T18:51:23.570-06:002013-05-17T18:51:23.570-06:00lm,
Yay! One of my "I like her" ladies i...lm,<br />Yay! One of my "I like her" ladies is not offended!<br /><br />I think that one of the lovely (and awful) things about feelings is that they are so ethereal and can be created and experienced in so many different ways.<br /><br />We'll see how everyone feels about my faulty brain-to-page filter when I quit smoking...Things could get ugly lol.<br /><br />Thank you--I prefer me uncensored too.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-45378696592120240612013-05-17T18:48:15.527-06:002013-05-17T18:48:15.527-06:00Brigit Delaney,
This censorship thing is rather ne...Brigit Delaney,<br />This censorship thing is rather new and disturbing for me--I'm nipping it in the bud lol.<br /><br />I agree that it can be a very powerful and life changing fiction, though fiction will never be the same as a true story.<br /><br />And yes, I find one of the most beautiful things about ttwd to be the acceptance of imperfection. I think it brings us closer to each other.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-9409200535732356232013-05-17T18:45:17.630-06:002013-05-17T18:45:17.630-06:00dancingbarez,
thank you.
It does bring you deeper,...dancingbarez,<br />thank you.<br />It does bring you deeper, and I certainly would never want to exchange picking up his dirty socks for a lack of his physical presence.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-77604967595928884902013-05-17T18:42:11.649-06:002013-05-17T18:42:11.649-06:00Lost Kittie,
I think that many successful relation...Lost Kittie,<br />I think that many successful relationships do begin online. But there are differences between physical relationships and one's that aren't.<br /><br />Oh I dunno about the definitions, seems like both would work just fine!Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-75189797891066319352013-05-17T18:40:30.259-06:002013-05-17T18:40:30.259-06:00luvs2pleases,
Oh...Well, no, I would think that...luvs2pleases,<br />Oh...Well, no, I would think that's not a common issue online or otherwise.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-81668786160199995522013-05-17T18:39:37.501-06:002013-05-17T18:39:37.501-06:00Bleuame,
I'm not sure where that self censorsh...Bleuame,<br />I'm not sure where that self censorship bug jumped out of--it's never really been much of an issue...I'm busy trying to stamp it out.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-5635768273938066422013-05-17T18:38:24.095-06:002013-05-17T18:38:24.095-06:00Sarah,
I love your honeymoon analogy--very fitting...Sarah,<br />I love your honeymoon analogy--very fitting.<br /><br />And you have a wise Friend!Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-5053782630630557192013-05-17T18:37:25.741-06:002013-05-17T18:37:25.741-06:00Master's piece,
Ooh, thanks for the cookies. Y...Master's piece,<br />Ooh, thanks for the cookies. You're in league with my closet Gremlins aren't you?<br /><br />@lm, oh, her sharing of the cookies definitely proves that she's quite settled on the dark side.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-45187766779722038662013-05-17T18:36:04.263-06:002013-05-17T18:36:04.263-06:00Jz,
Ooh, "horse hockey" I'm going to...Jz,<br />Ooh, "horse hockey" I'm going to borrow that one for daily life!Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-33578702840276582862013-05-17T18:35:10.466-06:002013-05-17T18:35:10.466-06:00Mouse,
LOL!
Right, life is different when you shar...Mouse,<br />LOL!<br />Right, life is different when you share a bathroom and everything else.<br />LOL. I'm still laughing, can't help it.<br />NOT the mental image I had of him at all. Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-91596608751468447012013-05-17T18:33:02.490-06:002013-05-17T18:33:02.490-06:00ksst,
I think that there really isn't any comp...ksst,<br />I think that there really isn't any comparison to that living breathing person.<br />I'm sure that online presents a whole set of challenges of its own of course, but I do think that those challenges differ.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-18207130100514052152013-05-17T18:31:30.447-06:002013-05-17T18:31:30.447-06:00sunnygirl,
Exactly!sunnygirl,<br />Exactly!Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-52998309688670826712013-05-17T18:31:08.837-06:002013-05-17T18:31:08.837-06:00kaya,
*Takes a bow*
I think that you are quite ri...kaya,<br />*Takes a bow*<br /><br />I think that you are quite right about it feeling like the pinnacle because they haven't lived it any other way yet--it's difficult to really grasp something like that when you haven't lived it.<br /><br />I nearly spewed coffee all over my keyboard at "they will eventually turn into me". Uh huh, I'm filing that one away for future use.Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-62180759498206208512013-05-15T16:36:35.587-06:002013-05-15T16:36:35.587-06:00lil, I would like to address the questions you pos...lil, I would like to address the questions you posted about what it would be like for an "online" slave if certain scenarios happen, because over the past 8 years many of those things have happened to us:<br /><br />How easy will it be if he is badly inured? It will be extremely difficult because I would not be there to help him in any way! It was not easy for him when I had shoulder surgery, or gall bladder surgery, or was in survival mode after Katrina either, but who said it would be easy?<br /><br />How easy will it be when you completely disagree about something really important? Like whether or not I will go back to school? Or whether or not I will move to another town for work? Or whether or not I will even see my mother over the holidays because of the strain of our relationship? Or even whether or not to file suit against my ex for things he still does to me? Or...well, I guess those aren't important...<br /><br />How easy will it be if your Dominant accidentally drives over the family dog? Well, since I accidentally ran over a baby kitten the other day, I guess it would be about the same as that, maybe.<br /><br />How easy will it be when you just want to sleep and he wants something else? Just as easy as it was when my ex wanted to do the same, over the course of a 19 year marriage.<br /><br />How easy will it be if he wants to fuck someone else? See the above answer.<br /><br />How easy will it be when the mortgage comes due and the bank account is empty? Just as easy as it is now when the mortgage comes due and the bank account is empty. Life happens. Stress happens. I won't be able to make money appear living with Padrone any more than I can now.<br /><br />How easy will it be when everything you believe is turned upside down and inside out? Like when I was raped while I was in a place I thought I was safe? On the same night that his sister was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery? Or maybe the times when I was sexually abused by family members? Or the blackmail I endured by my ex because he found out about my "lifestyle"?<br /><br />How easy will it be when you truly realize that you gave up your freedom in search of something great, and that the challenges along the way might exceed the apparent limits of possibility? The same way I felt the first time my ex abused me a few weeks after my wedding, probably. <br /><br />How easy will it be when you actually enter reality? How easy it is to say that I am not living in reality now, simply because I do not live with Padrone. I am 48 years old, have a history of a long term relationship, have experience as a submissive in "real life" as it were, and nothing....NOTHING....has ever completed me as this relationship does. <br /><br />My point is that if someone is going to live in a fantasy world about D/s, DD, TTWD, or whatever one wishes to call it, then they will live there whether their relationship is online or not. It is those who have realistic expectations of a relationship, ANY relationship, that will work to develop successful, meaningful, satisfying relationships - no matter the means of connection between them.schiavahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10954158336340577824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6393795333438979432.post-69335759274709681632013-05-15T14:46:13.565-06:002013-05-15T14:46:13.565-06:00Your blog is my absolute favorite to read. Always ...Your blog is my absolute favorite to read. Always very real. Glad you don't censor. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com