I was standing in the kitchen doing dishes when Alpha walked up and gave me that sincere look that just melts me and makes me weak in the knees. Cupping my face gently with His hands He looked me in the eye, and asked if I needed leniency or strictness (see, He fuddles my brain and I can't even remember exactly what He says. That's my defense from now on).
He has been lenient since the accident. And I needed that.
What, for some reason, fuddled me up was that He asked. It's not that He never asks what I need--it's that there were two very different options. It wasn't open-ended and it's pretty clear that sitting here in limbo isn't going to work anymore. For either of us.
So I asked Him why He asked me (oh hush), and He gave me a smarmy answer ("why is the sky blue? It doesn't matter why"). I told Him the truth in a suitably chicken-shit way--I did need leniency.
It would be a lie to say that I don't know what direction we are going in from here.
But thankfully, it's out of limbo.
And hey, we were headed deeper into the abyss anyways right. Now is as good of a time as any.
What is the action equivalent of "from your mouth to God's ears"?
ReplyDeleteLimbo-ing like crazy myself and not, can I just mention, enjoying the experience.
Oh well. Like all phases in life, this too shall pass... For better or worse, we get to move on eventually.
Wow, yeh, that's hard to come to terms with. It's hard to say what you need. You don't want to look like you are being petty or a wuss either. You're right to tell him the truth.
ReplyDeleteGood luck moving forward.
Everybody has such big things going on this week!
Big Hugs!
Kelly
Jz,
ReplyDeleteNo idea. All I got there is, "he's listening? Oh crap." Lol.
Seriously though...Limbo is not an enjoyable place to be. This is when the whole "the only constant is change" phrase actually sounds good.
Hope you quit limbo-ing soon!
CD, Oh I have no problem with being seen as a wuss(petty, that would be a problem lol).
Thank you.