I used to feel like the slap was a bad thing. It's kind of derogatory, it's not nice to hit people, and men shouldn't smack their wives around.
My view, while situation dependent, has changed quite a lot.
I honestly don't remember the first time he slapped me. I do remember it was during sex and we had been at ttwd for some time. It shocked the daylights out of me.
I almost cried. But instead I had an earthshaking orgasm.
And then it started creeping out of the bedroom.
Yes, I think there have been a couple of times where I did cry. But that's okay. Neither of us believe that tears should necessarily be the goal, even though sometimes they are (I'm not trying to talk in circles, really I'm not). But some of the best experiences I have had are the ones where I end up crying. Sometimes it's like an orgasmic release without the orgasm.
Oh...I got distracted again didn't I?
At this point in our relationship, I should probably correct my attitude and get back on course with nothing more than a word or two
A word or two doesn't always do it. But a slap or two? It's like there's an invisible reset button located in the vicinity of my face. Because suddenly I'm repentant. And all malleable and my pussy aches (haha, I used a dirty word! Seriously, I'm not sure it's ever been featured here lol, and I'm pretty sure those five letters took a whole minute to type).
And I don't really like it, but I want him to do it again.
I still don't think that men should smack their wives around. But I also like it when mine slaps me around a bit. It helps that he's never hit me in anger. And he knows his own strength--he's big, I'm not.
You know what else makes it hot? He won't ever let anyone else hit me.
Yesss...Beat me, use and abuse me, humiliate me and tell me I'm amazing, make me cry and kiss away my tears, treat me like a filthy whore and stroke my hair while I sit at your feet.
The key to me? His refusal to allow anyone else to treat me like anything less than his wife and equal.
oh yes yes yes to a quick sharp slap accross the face it certainly has the effect of getting my immediate focus and attention where he wants it.
ReplyDeleteIts a subject that i think even within ttwd is perhaps sensitive because it doesnt quite come under the bdsm umbrella and is associated more with domestic violence.
I also like the odd punch to the stomach and chest as well and being honest for me the appeal is the violent association of it that turns me on however i do not condone domestic violence.
How i separate the beatings i enjoy to those in a domestic violence situation is i dont live in fear, its not done in anger or through influence of drinks and drugs, i seek it out and i enjoy it..its consensual.
ps i did chuckle at your pussy comment, i find it so difficult to articulate sex acts and it took me ages even with the bossman to refer to private parts as anything other than the correct terms ie vagina and penis.
x
tori,
Deleteyou know, I like to write for me, how I feel, what I'm thinking, what i really like in that moment. But I did have a minute where I wondered if I should have made this post a bit more conscientious because of the associations slapping has with domestic violence.
I'm not totally sure what exactly it is about the slap that does it for me...
Lol. I'm glad you laughed. Like I said, I think this might be the only post I have used that word in the 2 1/2 years I have been writing here. If not, they could certainly be counted on one hand. Occasionally Alpha makes me say it and it's a bit like pulling teeth lol.
here's the head of the nail. and you hitting it!
ReplyDeletethat's exactly it. I feel perfectly at ease with all the spankings and commands and ownership because he is the ONLY one who is allowed to do it.
he will not ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT allow me to let anyone else demean me. For as much as he "uses and abuses" me, he raises me up and holds me in the highest esteem where it counts.
and even in his using me, I feel revered as if I was the greatest woman on earth.
ah. you're a smart one, you are.
Fondles,
DeleteIt's nice to hear my brains haven't oozed out my ears completely lol.
I think that how they view us and what they find acceptable in other peoples treatment of us does make a huge difference.
Not a fan of that word myself, that's why I usually say "lady parts", lol. Though I'm trying to use the words more, to get more comfortable with them. Musicman likes to hear them and I struggle to type them, much less say them.
ReplyDeleteMusicman slaps me sometimes too, I love it. Weird thing to say, isn't it? The fact that it isn't done in anger is the difference for me. Musicman would never let anyone disrespect me either, that in itself is pretty hot to me :)
faerie,
Deletesometimes he makes me say it and I struggle soooo much. I have to be pretty far down to be able to just spit it out lol.
I think that the fact it's not done in anger is one of the key things, and I feel anticipation not fear.
God so hot, so profound. That's possible, right? It is. Well said.
ReplyDeleteI want him to keep pushing me. Because I have absolute faith and trust that he will do it exactly the right way. That is my honor to him and his honor to me.
Emen,
DeleteThank you. I think that push helps us feel like we are evolving and we all need to evolve.
Oh lil, I too can relate to the sentiment but beyond the fact that my partner doesn't let anyone else treat me less than his equal, I think its crucial that he knows his own strength and it isn't coming from an angry place and he knows my strength too.
ReplyDelete(I doubt I'm making sense but your post pulled me right in and I wanted to toss in two cents--words are causing me problems today)
BleuAme,
DeleteYou make perfect sense, I get it!
the slapped face has the ability to take me to that dreamy place. As I gaze into his eyes I can see him reading me, I can see him taking me there to that dreamy place.
ReplyDeleteThe face slap takes my breath away, it makes me gasp and then break into smiles of delight. He does not use it as a corrective measure but he does use it to subdue his girl.
This sick lil bitch can't get enough of the face slap.
great post lil
littleone,
Deleteit's one of those rare things that works as correction and turn on for me. Because of the effect it has.
Thank you.
Couldn't have said it better myself :)
ReplyDeleteagog,
Deletethank you!
Oh my, how I love this. The number of time I have said, or thought, there must be something wrong with me. But my Sir slaps and I am goo with a seriously dripping clenched pussy. I always feel like it should have this effect on me, but it does - it's autonomic. I am so glad to read that others feel the same way! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteSirQsMLB,
Deletethank you. It's nice for me to hear I'm not alone in this either.
Being slapped in the face brings me to a deep submissive state very quickly...and I love it...in a sexual context.
ReplyDeletestumblingchi,
Deletefor some reason it always has some kind of sexual context for me, even when it's a corrective measure.
I don't think I could ever be slapped by Adam. I think it would bother me to much and I wouldn't be submissive just upset and inconsolable but I will admit what you wrote made me think.
ReplyDeleteI can't type that word either. Adam loves to hear it but I always mumble it earning me a spanking.
Kat,
DeleteI think it is a very individual thing--and there's no doubt that it can be very bad.
Oh, I mumble too! And then it's worse because I end up saying it the five times it takes for me to say it loud enough to hear. He occasionally calls me a prudish whore lol.
I totally get it. I haven't been slapped but it's been creeping in my fantasies.... very hot.
ReplyDeleteRenee,
Deleteit is really nice to hear that I'm not the only one who finds it hot.
And these things do have a way of insinuating themselves don't they?
Interesting post.
ReplyDeleteHaving experienced face slaps in an abusive dating relationship, many years ago, it's not something that's ever been part of my dynamic with anyone. i think the potential for it to trigger an emotional flashback and damage the relationship is huge. Sir knows this.
However, Sir sometimes taps my cheek lightly with His hand. It's not quite a slap, but almost. i suspect He's preparing me for an actual slap someday, but it hasn't happened yet, and i dont' know how i'll feel about it.
It's helpful to read that it's really hot for so many people.
aisha
aisha,
Deletethank for stopping by!
It's one of those things that can be really ad or really hot, depending on how we feel about it and the associations we have with it.
If it does happen in your relationship, I hope that it turns out to be one of those things you find hot because of how very different it is from an abusive situation.
I think that sometimes there are things we can never accept. And that's okay too. Because it's all part of who we are.
I was a bit afraid someone would come try to "save" me lol, given all the negative associations with face slapping.
I could barely write the word spank at first but it's getting easier. I even feel slightly weird about using the word ass!! I like reading what others write in the graphic sense but I can't do it lol!
ReplyDeleteAs for slapping. I can see why you would hesitate slightly, but truthfully, even though I've never been slapped, in a sexual context, I can see the attraction. In the corrective sense, I can also see the attraction and I think I'd feel it a turn on too the same way any kind of spanking does.
I think it'd be quite hot if done in the proper, ie; not in anger etc setting.
Dee x
Dee,
Deleteisn't it strange how some words are just so damn difficult to spit out?
I think being slapped is more of a turn on than spanking for me...Huh, I didn't realize that until just now. Lol.
And yes, the fast that it is never done in anger, even when it's corrective, is really what makes it what it is. I think I might be making sense...
I'm not sure how to respond to this. I've been tapped before in a hot as hell steamy sex session and it was great. I was tapped in the middle of the spanking once because I was just being awful and it adjusted the rest of me but I was also tapped once that spiraled into a severe flashback. Just not sure how I feel about it. I guess I would have to go with as long as it was the right mindset...and would probably have to say something like, hey if I do it first please go ahead. *smile* I see the appeal for sure and applaud you for sharing! :D
ReplyDeleteAdaline,
DeleteI think that the slap takes on a bit of a different meaning if we have experienced it in a bad context. When we already associate it with bad things, it's kind of hard for it not to just be a bad thing.
Given that, I can see how the right mindset would be really important. Even when it first started happening, how I was felling and the exact context of its occurrence really made a big difference in how I felt about the experience.
Thinking more on this though...context is really all about mindset anyway. We come to associate the slap with a bad memory...if it were to be connected to a hot memory (I'm thinking one of those smoking hot hair pulling several hour kind of sex) then I bet the outlook could change. I never really thought about it before but that could be said for anything. Very interesting thoughts. Hope you are having a great weekend!
DeleteI love being slapped! I think it does have a danger in being a slippery slope if you are not 24/7. However, the slipperiest slopes are the moistest/hardest aren't they?
ReplyDeleteGiles,
Deletelol, perhaps so.
You think it's a slippery slop if one doesn't have a 24/7 dynamic because of the possibility of it being used abusively?
Not even abusively - just thoughtlessly might have issues. If your dynamic is real - i.e. unscripted and based on genuine power exchange - then the dom *should* be just lashing out instinctively.
DeleteNot requiring an implement risks blurring the contexts.
But I still want to be slapped.
I need that also. He never hits me hard in face, being wary of damaging or leaving marks, but it's the emotional punch behind that action that I crave. The "you are mine, and you will behave" message that I need.
ReplyDeleteancilla,
DeleteI don't get hit hard in the face either--I am extremely prone to headaches and it doesn't take a whole lot to set one of the damn things off. Plus, when someone's hand is the size of your head...
And I agree, it sends a kind of message that is unavoidable and downright awesome.
Very interesting post; thank you for writing it. Here's a completely different perspective, completely unsolicited.
ReplyDeleteAs a domme, I see men almost exclusively (not by choice; they're just the ones that respond to the ads!) and I know there are a few that I see that would respond beautifully to a slap in the face from Me...so I might have to try that out this week on one or two of them! (One in particular I know...*oh my* If I had a compliant willing submissive woman? I am not sure I could do it unless it was deep in a scene.
Maybe fittingly, I have absolutely no problem typing or using 'dirty words' freely, but I find it delightful to listen to a sub try to articulate all those lovely feelings without those uncomfortable words!
Mistress Erica,
DeleteThank you.
I hope that your experimentation works out well!
Dirty words...Yes well, I am still working through some issues with many of them. As you can see--this blog is practically PG most days lol.