Tumbler does not allow endless comments (damn them for that), and since it's really not my place to rant about the anonymous idiots who comment on another person's blog, here I am.
How exactly do people form the concept that to be Dominant means to have no respect for those they Dominate? Given the phrasing, I am going to go out on a very short limb and conclude that in a "few years" these particular men have gone through a number of "subs". I wonder why they never stopped to think that maybe their attitude is why they seem to be going through subs so fast...?
If you want a submissive to respect you, give her something to respect.
If you want her to do as she's told, give her a reason.
If you want to keep a submissive, you have to give her a reason to stay.
If you want her submission, inspire it!
If you want her respect, give her something to respect. If you have to constantly "Enforce" her respect, that's not really respect--that's fear.
Respect is a positive emotion. Respect is holding someone in high regard because they have shown themselves worthy, respect is a positive feeling of esteem for another human being.
You cannot buy it.
You cannot trade it.
You cannot force someone to feel it.
You earn it.
And, much like trust, respect is much easier lost than gained.
Force has it's place in all D/s relationships, but if it is constantly necessary, is that really D/s?
If you always have to force her to submit, if you can never be gentle for fear she will gain the upper hand, if you believe that she is not worthy of your respect and acceptance, then you aren't really a Dominant.
You're just an asshole with a superiority complex.
In fact, if a "dom" is so afraid of losing control of his sub that he has to be an asshole about it all of the time, then he doesn't have enough faith in himself, self control, or personal fortitude, to Dominate an ant.
That's not to say Dominants are never assholes. Everyone has their days. But D/s is consensual--nobody has to stay and put up with that shit every day.
Alpha wants my respect
he wants me on my knees
he wants me to please
he wants me to obey
he wants my willingness to do anything for him.
Those are not desires that can be fulfilled with force.
He behaves in a way that has earned my respect
he makes it so that I want nothing more than to be on my knees
he inspires my desire to please him
he controls in a manner that makes me want to obey
I am willing to do anything for him because he has done everything for me.
I am his because he accepts all that I am.