I'm less than pleased to see the people pleaser part of myself emerge here--there's a difference between being respectful of others, and caring what they think to the point of not saying what I really believe.
This one has been simmering on the back burner of my mind for some time.
Before I get going, I would like to say that mid post, I realized there are a couple of ladies out there who I genuinely like that may take exception to this post. I sincerely hope such is not the case--my purpose is not to be offensive or attempt to minimize anyone else's relationship.
I have often seen the statement, "Online Master/slave relationships are just the same as live in Master/slave relationships." This is often followed by a proposal along the lines of online M/s creating a deeper mental connection than real life, because that is what they focus on the most.
My personal opinion? They most certainly are not the same, and while I will freely admit to the possibilities of deep online connections, you are not going to dive further down the mental rabbit hole online than you can in real life.
I realize that many online couples feel strongly about their relationships, and a number of those relationships evolve into happy and healthy marriages. I'm not knocking that. I think those relationships take a lot of work, and the people who successfully turn them into 24/7 relationships deserve everything they have worked for.
The one's who never turn into daily life relationships, well those are relationships too. They involve feelings and real people. There's nothing wrong with those relationships either--they are what they are. And that's okay.
But to claim that there will be no issues when one has to pick up his dirty socks every day, that there is no difference between turning off the camera and going to work in the morning, that online and real life M/s is the same, and the online perfection will continue when daily physical proximity loses it's shine?
That is a concept which I personally find rather ludicrous.
No matter how well we know someone online, we are still allowed to live with the image we create in our minds. The image of them, of ourselves, of how the relationship will be when and if it goes to the next step.
She is the perfect slave because you haven't really had her at her worst.
He is the perfect Master because daily life hasn't provided an opportunity for him to be otherwise.
The perfection you perceive is a myth made easier to perpetrate by a lack of proximity, and the closest any of us will ever get to that perfection is being perfect for each other.
Being under someone's control in a non-physical world will never be the same as living it 24/7.
When you live life as a team that is arranged around power exchange, there will be challenges and possibilities that you have never even conceived of, there will be differences and disputes that you previously would have never believed possible.
Of course, there can also be amazing moments and connections beyond your wildest dreams. But they don't always come easy.
I resent the occasional assertion by an online slave that my struggles somehow make me lesser because ttwd comes easily to her.
For those who are able to completely avoid the struggles like mine? I admire your belief in yourselves, or whatever it is within you which makes that possible. I really do. Struggles do not a submissive or a slave make.
But for those of you who have not entered the kind of reality I know, and find my struggles unreasonable because you are always such a good girl, because he is an amazing Dominant, because you live your own kind of reality, because you never struggle with doing as you are told...
How easy will it be if he is badly inured?
How easy will it be when you completely disagree about something really important?
How easy will it be if your Dominant accidentally drives over the family dog?
How easy will it be when you just want to sleep and he wants something else?
How easy will it be if he wants to fuck someone else?
How easy will it be when the mortgage comes due and the bank account is empty?
How easy will it be when everything you believe is turned upside down and inside out?
How easy will it be when you truly realize that you gave up your freedom in search of something great, and that the challenges along the way might exceed the apparent limits of possibility?
How easy will it be when you actually enter reality?