Huge and Absolutely Ridiculous Kink...Wait, Is That Even A Kink?

So umm, I've rebuilt myself fairly well, (in my own opinion, of course) however; sub me doesn't really function for shit lately. I guess maybe when you remake so much of your life you just have to take it one piece at a time?

Thing is, I've had a while now lol...

I struggle with writing about D/s in this space these days. Partly because I've been kind of stuck, but mostly because there is always the chance that one day he will drop in and read again.
This...That huge part of me that I explored with him for so long...It was the part of me he shredded the most. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't dread the potential outcome of every chance I take in opening myself back up to that. We became the opposite of the idea of BDSM which stirs my heart body and soul.

But I digress from my original train of thought...

See, I've got this Domme girl. And we've put together a life, and have both rebuilt ourselves from scratch. Together. So I have a safe and healthy space to open the door for the sub. We have been D/s for years to varying extents...We're just...I think that in a way we have both challenged each other greatly as we rebuilt, and falling back into our rhythm has been difficult...

Still digressing from my original train of thought...

All of the above meanderings stemmed from one original musing about something I have identified as a huge, and possibly absolutely ridiculous kink. And is it really even a kink?? I mean, it feels like one lol.
The feeling of safety. Physical, emotional, and spiritual safety. It's a huge turn on. And when when it's coupled with painful or terrifying things with an occasional hint of tenderness? To be tortured, yet secure in being truly treasured...Yea...That. Safety provides for the luxury of true vulnerability, and that is hot as hell to me.

Safety allows for a lowering of defenses, and I have found that it is only in the lowering all of my defenses that I become free to truly experience submission and its dangers to the fullest.

I guess...I need to fly again... To wrestle and succumb to the dragon...I just have to take the leap and believe it won't devour me completely. Or perhaps more accurately, hope that it doesn't chew me up and spit me out. After all, being devoured is itself a huge part of the appeal.

Definitions of the Mind

My physical issues are by no means a huge deal. But they do have a pretty big impact on my life when they decide to act up. Which makes many of those rough physical moments I adore so much simply not possible. But it also makes me think more about those other aspects that I adore.
The aspects that are not ruled by the physical.

Because it is not the physical acts that define our D/s. It is our minds.

His mind defines where our limits are, how far we will go, what we will physically do.
My mind defines how I will submit and how I feel afterwards.
And the process of redefining ourselves, while effected greatly by the physical, is something that happens mostly in our minds.

Physical bodies, even though they do not always do as we want them to, are fairly easy to control. Especially for a man who sees the world from a much taller perspective than the woman he is Dominating.

But often, as we go exploring, I think we realize that isn't enough.
Because there is always a chance of ending up in a situation where outside forces control our physical reality.
What goes on in our minds though? That is quite often about the choices we make in perception.

Free will is the one thing we all have in common, and our physical choices can be limited--but how we choose to deal with those limitations and what we do along the way are what define us.

Control is often expressed through physical acts. But it doesn't take place in the actions themselves.
True control comes from, and occurs in, the mind. And it is quite possible to control a persons physical actions without exerting physical control to do so.

Someone can Dominate all day long. But the one submitting will never actually belong to them if their mind isn't in it.

In a previous post, I said that mental vulnerability was a bit like being tied to the bed naked and blindfolded, only better because it's all in your head.
And I think that is where control and trust really come into play.

It's easy to let someone tie you to the bed and flog you to their hearts content. It's not as easy to let them so far into your mind that the physical circumstances can become irrelevant.

Physical vulnerability can be awesome.
Mental vulnerability brings a certain closeness that transcends one's physical state. Because really, can you get any closer to someone than being inside their head?