There hasn't really been any kink around here for some time. There also hasn't been a whole lot of submission, if I'm gonna be honest...Because life, not taking my medicine, grandma, life, kids, and more friggin ridiculously stressful beautiful life.
Having spent the day on the couch attempting, somewhat unsuccessfully, to recuperate from being assaulted by books and bed frames yesterday, I had some time to think (mind you, it's a terrible time to "Take a day to think". There simply isn't time for it. I wanted to. That's my story and I'm sticking to it).
But I have once again tripped my way into the pitfalls of digression...
The way we are is not something that I have ever seen reflected in the vanilla couples we have known. Not just the way we have been since consciously shifting our dynamic to one of dominance and submission, but the way that we have always been.
He takes those big steps out, he makes things happen and forges the trail for me to follow.
I have never rented a post office box, opened a bank account, lived alone, registered a car, set up voice mail, or done a myriad of things that most humans consider part of experiencing daily life.
While I am very much a "Do whatever needs to be done" kind of person, the ultimate responsibility for the movement of our lives falls to him (mind you, there are many thing such as scheduling and anything whatsoever to do with doctor which do not fall under this heading).
He has always been the final line of responsibility for our family.
Anyways...
Sometimes I resent the things he expects of me, especially when he's not showing what I think of as "active" dominance (gods know, I do need that). But I think there are many things he does, the way we have always been and lived, and for him those are very much what being a dominant is about.
Looking beyond the kink, beyond the things we often think of as being D/s, beyond the conscious choices of power exchange, it is still clear that we could be nothing else. Because it is there in the very fabric of how and who we are.
My brain is fried at the moment, and if it wasn't for that I could probably come up with a better comment because I've had thoughts about this before...I agree though, it's just who we are.
ReplyDeleteMisty,
Deletetotally with you on the fried brain thing!
love this post. "Because it is there in the fabric of how and who we are." Couldn't have said it better myself.
ReplyDeleteAwkward frog blue,
Deletethank you!
Great post Lil, love the last paragraph. There is so much more beyond the kink. It just isn't so easily recognised, sometimes even by ourselves :)
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
Roz,
Deletethank you!
Odd how sometimes we can't see what's right there, isn't it?
Lil this was wonderfully put.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
mouse
Thank you, mouse.
DeleteYES this... like, it's the foundation stones. The kink is often the pretty roof tiles that can get temporarily blown off in the harsh winds of life, or something.
ReplyDeletemc kitten,
Deleteooh, I like your analogy!
Very thoughtful muse. Jon
ReplyDeleteJon,
Deleteas compared to my usual over-thinking. I'll take thoughtful any day!
very interesting post....our dynamic isn't as deep as yours but it would be interesting to see what it would be like if it was.
ReplyDeleteAngel Blue,
Deleteit is always interesting to me how these relationships evolve over time. It's like that one ingredient you have to taka as it comes, as opposed to adding it when you want...