Home Alone

I smarted off, which in retrospect, wasn't actually that smart. That is how I ended up face down on the floor, with my ass in the air, waiting...It always seems like forever when one has been told to wait in a particular position. Yet, somehow, the act of waiting itself turns into an act of submission.

In all fairness, I was probably destined to end up that way at some point during the day. It is an inevitable turn of events when we have the house to ourselves. However, events to follow have not been as predictable.

I did not foresee making breakfast while chained to the stove
or spending the day in cuffs, heels, and clamps...

I would not have guessed that he would instruct me do put on eye makeup, heavy on the black, or that he would send me out to the car naked in a foot of snow to retrieve said makeup, pigtails flying in my desperate attempt to make it back to warmth.

I was a tad shocked when the camera made an appearance. He moved me this way and that, making the offhand comment that perhaps one or two of the photos would make their way onto the blog.
Say...uh, what...?

He says that sex and chains look good on me. Who am I to disagree. Gods know, they feel good. And the day is not yet done...

Sometimes it is what it is...And sometimes hormones are not your friends

"I love that you think and question things baby. But no one can be everything all the time. And that's okay. It is what it is."

It is what it is.

And I think I need to work on the ability to accept that.

But this time? This time I think it's safe to say that hormones are not my friends. And it had actually occurred to me that I was feeling a bit PMSish. But I thought "no I still have more than a week left before the monthly hell hits!"

And my dear body replied. It said "fuck you bitch, back to a three week cycle. how do you like that!"
I don't like it. Not in the least little bit tyvm.
Ironically, it has taken me many years to recognize the signs--of how hormones are really shitty friends and they like to fuck with me.

But the concept of "it is what it is," is just so much more interesting. Because I have a hard time just accepting things. I can analyze something to death. Alpha says that isn't always necessary. And He's right.

I guess it is what it is. This time? It was hormones from hell lol.

Fantasy and reality

When Alpha first "suggested" (I know, give me my illusions lol) that I find a play party for us to go to as active participants, I figured He had been reading the blogs on my list and was just fucking with my head. When I said so, He looked at me like I had just turned green and sprouted horns--I checked, my color is a bit off but no visible horns I swear. I was a bit surprised. After all, this is someone who tends to be an intensely private person. I spent the day thinking about it and well, it's an exciting thought. Then I spent the next day thinking about the basic logistics. There's all these happy-go-lucky people who just pop out and do whatever they want whenever they want to. The people who are always the first to say "I keep my sub chained to the bed. We are Really 24/7." I won't elaborate on the general sarcastic nature of my thoughts but it all revolved around the realities of keeping life running and finding a babysitter. So my next day wasn't spent in anticipation, it was spent wondering how the hell I am going to set up over 24 hours worth of babysitting more than two days in advance lol. And then last night on my way home from work (I think to much and my hour long drive in the car is often an excessive breeding ground for it), I had a moment of panic. So I have some seriously exhibitionist fantasies...but under and over them, I'm shy. My sexual partners have been limited to just a few and the thought of anyone besides Alpha seeing me "in action" so to speak, is rather nerve-wracking. I have to admit, the possibility doesn't seem real. Nothing ever does until it happens I guess.

Find a party?!

Okay, this topic was much more humorous when it was happening to someone else lol. This morning Alpha informed me that I needed to find a play party somewhere near us. Not just to watch either. He said "some fantasies are just fantasies that are never supposed to be real. The ones that linger need be explored before they become issues." Hmm, see what I get for sharing lol. There's my food for thought for today.
Anyways, today is my moms birthday and I have to get my ass to work so I can leave early.