Some Thoughts on Breath "Play"

This post might possibly be rather long... I recommend coffee, or travel to better places than mine.

I recently read a rather scathing article on the subject of breath play. It purported to be an unbiased  informative piece, and while it raised some very valid points, it was undoubtedly biased in the belief that participating in said activity was dangerously irresponsible, and did not fit under the heading of ssc (safe, sane, and consensual).

Here's the thing...It's hot as fuck. And lets face it, one of the major attractions of D/s is the element of danger.
Here's the other thing...Breath "play" is dangerous because of its potential to be deadly.

In the right context, breath "play" offers a delectable mix of safety and danger...This is the kind of context where I object to the word "play" as a description for something that could easily kill you, but I couldn't come up with anything better, so there you have it.

Here's where my stupid sense of responsibility jumps in and says I have to take quick detour and play the angel's advocate. Forgive me if I accidentally come across as thinking that I actually know what I'm talking about...

Any medical professional or person with a modicum of common sense, will tell you that breath play is dangerous.
Those of us with asthma must admit to a higher level of risk of breathing interruption lasting after play stops, and I think that people with heart conditions are at a higher risk when the neck is involved.
Imho, auto-erotic asphyxiation and choking are the two most dangerous forms of breath play--it is estimated that up to 1,000 people die a year from auto-erotic asphyxiation (that is the high end of a debatable set of numbers), and choking can impact the vagus nerve, leading to cardiac arrest.
So yes, your partner matters, the form of play you choose matters, and so does your physical condition. I am aware that there are medically based opinions to the contrary, as far as the potential for minimizing risk is concerned.

The vagus nerve is in extremely close proximity to the carotid artery.

The other drawback to choking as a form of breath play, is that there's a lot going on in the neck, from arteries and nerves, to larynx and thyroid gland.

A fairly comprehensive overview of breath play in its varying forms, can be found at Within Reality. I strongly recommend that anyone venturing into breath play take the time to go read it.

Anyways...Yea, it could kill you. But sex, sleep apnea, driving, or not looking twice before you cross the road, could kill you too. Nobody runs around waving a red flag at you when you get into your car in the morning.
Surviving life is largely a matter of common sense.

Now that we have the obvious issues out of the way, and my conscience can rest easy that I have not contributed overmuch to the occasionally overwhelming stupidity of humanity, I can move on to how I personally feel about breath play.

The danger is a very large part of my attraction to breath play--breathing is an automatic function of the human body. If we stop doing it, we stop living rather quickly.

Breath play is very much about that ancient dance of predator and prey, which has played out since the dawn of time.
As it is with all beasts, we know that the baring and consequent grasping of one's throat is a universal symbol of Dominance and submission. You acquiescence will either be accepted, or not--it is the risk you take for great reward.

I am going to arch my back, raise my head, and tilt my chin to the side in acquiescence. I will probably be breathing hard and immediately pliant. My lower lip will jut out just  tiny bit--I simply cannot help it, or ignore the throbbing between my legs...
Because in one single movement of your arm, you will become as close as you will ever be, to holding my beating heart in the palm of your hand.

Your eyes are going to develop that dangerous glint, and you're going to reach out and wrap your fingers around my throat, knowing that my life is completely dependent on what you choose to do in that moment. In that moment, you control the air I breathe, and the very blood in my veins.

We both know that you could snap my neck with a calculated flick of your wrist, and we are both acutely aware that my faith and trust are complete and all consuming. That awareness binds us together, suspends us in time--a moment frozen in forever as I breath for you, and you alone. Because you choose to allow me to do so.

When you hold my face under the running water and I cough and sputter as you watch me with that curiously calculating expression, when your hand smothers by breath and I feel that fleeting panic, when you take my life in your hands...
In those moments, I realize that my attraction to breath play lies in knowing to the very core of my being, that I live only because it pleases you for me to do so.

Random...

I'm home for the first time all week. Now I have to get ready to go again lol. In theory, being a soccer mom sounds pretty easy, in practice...lol.
I'm a bit excited...because I found a job I want...It's closer to home, there's no pharmaceutical drugs involved, and it sounds like just what I have been looking for. I'm trying not to get to excited because I haven't even got to interview yet and competition for jobs is pretty steep around here...but it's well worth a try.

On a completely different front, I have developed the oddest craving lol. I've been having so many ridiculous problems with my tonsils and various lymph nodes in my neck, that it's been over a month since Alpha's grabbed me by the throat. Which is actually really considerate...The thing is...I miss it terribly. Kind of liking pregnancy cravings, just, um, "choke me please" cravings lol.

Anyways, I feel like a roaming nomad this week lol, so keeping in the current spirit of things, I've got to get my shit together to go...again.

Damages

There's a fine line between hurt and damage. Be it mental, emotional, or physical. A bit of hurt is alright, it reminds us that we are alive. Damage takes you to places that are scarring and difficult to recover from.

Recently, one of my favorite blogs (whatiwonder over there >>> ), did a post about humiliation. Which got me to thinking about the subject a bit more in depth. The teasing and mocking are pretty much a part of daily life at this point (have I mentioned how much I absolutely hate being mocked? It really brings out my most disagreeable and predatory tendencies). Anyways, Alpha seems to view some of my insecurities as free game--my jealous tendencies, certain tones I use, my need to fit things into little boxes, etc. Other insecurities He, generally leaves alone, like how I view my body or family issues. But that isn't the stuff that comes to mind when I think about humiliation. It's one of those tricky arena's where there's a fine line between pushing the limits and all out damaging the person being humiliated. It strips away pride leaving you pliant and vulnerable. Exposed in more ways than the physical. It fucks with your head and takes you places you would normally never dare to tread. I think it's one of those areas of exploration where it's really easy to actually cause mental damage if it's done carelessly.

Since damage is on my mind today (see how gracefully I transition ages--totally stable and upbeat as my birthday approaches), physical harm is the most obvious and easily avoided. I'll pick being choked as my example because it's one of my all-time favorite experiences.
Personally, I think hands are the best way to go. For one, I just enjoy the sensation of His hand wrapped around my throat, for two, I think it's easier for Him to gauge when to let go. Obviously, it's not good for your brain to be deprived of blood and/or oxygen and that's a big part of the high that comes with being choked--your brain is not getting the things it needs to continue functioning. That's why actually being choked out on a regular basis is quite unhealthy, you're killing off brain cells. Of course, that's a huge part of the appeal too--someone literally has your life in their hands. It's an easy way to do serious physical damage if you aren't careful.

There's many paths to damage whether you live vanilla or...not.
Sometimes I wonder, what are the drawbacks to being Dominant? Because I can think of some downsides to being submissive like fucking when you want to sleep, doing things you genuinely don't want to, not getting the final say, etc. If I, as a submissive, had to say what I think is the most difficult thing about being Dominant, I would choose avoiding truly damaging one's sub. Because there's a fine line between playing on the edge and pushing your toys over the edge of no return.

Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go try not to damage my children while they attempt to avoid the responsibility of cleaning their room.