Wednesday, June 7, 2017

No One Tells Little Girls...

Sitting here...
what's one more night alone and on my own?
wrap broken wings around myself
sitting unwanted and saved upon the shelf.

No one tells little girls that love hurts so goddamn bad
no one tells little girls how boys with big brown eyes will rip your heart out
and dance upon your soul
holding to themselves that which could make you whole.
No one tells little girls that the boy with the beautiful eyes will feed you to his demons
leaving you with neither rhyme nor reason.

No one tells little girls what it's going to be like to be a junkyard dog covered in scars
in a world which values beauty and nice cars.
No one tells little girls that fairy tales die
and that maybe forever, always, and everything is a lie.

No one tells little girls that love will break them
that the boys with beautiful brown eyes will always be searching for something else
that the broken toys, the girls with all the scars, will never live up to the fancy cars
that love is a goddamned war
and her heart will be a traitorous fucking whore
that they'll always be too much and never enough.

No one tells little girls
that they will hand that beautiful brown eyed boy their heart on a platter
and watch it be sliced into pieces and fed to the demons
that love completely lacks in rhyme and reason.

Why doesn't anyone tell little girls that their hearts are going to be battlegrounds
fighting an eternal war when that beautiful boy doesn't come around
that no one will hear the sound
as they wrap broken dreams around themselves like wings
forever waiting for some beautiful brown eyed boy to come around?

Why don't we tell little girls that those gorgeous fucking boys with big brown eyes
who smell like smoke and taste like hope,
who dance through their dreams and change their perception of reality,
are going to make their souls bleed with need?

No one told me
that the girl I'd become would be a junkyard dog
in a world full of purebreds
waiting by the side of some gorgeous brown eyed boys bed
needing to feed a hunger that cannot be fed.

No one told me that love could be so all goddamned consuming
that I'd spend so many nights alone on my knees
knowing that I was not the one chosen to please.

No one tells little girls
that those divinely delicious boys with big brown eyes
who taste like hope and smell like smoke
will have them crawling endlessly to feed a need sated by others
and goddamn the mothers
who don't tell little girls
that they love only at their own peril.

My father knew
that I would be a junkyard dog with the heart of a whore,
little more than a casualty in loves fucked up war.
But he thought that I would inspire
lift somebody in this world up a little bit higher...

The truth is darlin, 
that I'm just a girl who dared to love as a junkyard dog does
but nobody wants to live and love in a junkyard of broken cars
that an aging little girl covered in scars, who cares not for fancy cars...
She's a dream unseen, some other kind of being
who will never belong, cursed to always long
for boys with big brown eyes
who smell like smoke
and taste like hope
but really, those beautiful brown eyed fucking boys are just the hanging rope.

1 comment:

  1. (((Hugs))) Lil, as always you blow me away with your poetry, so passionate and raw. I feel so much for you and hate that you hurt so much.

    Roz

    ReplyDelete

Play nice.