He said he loved me and wasn't in love with me, but wanted to fuck me. Sex, nothing more. Nothing less. Then he said it didn't feel okay and walked away.
Alpha said it was okay. Then it wasn't.
They enjoy the way I dance on the edge
until they get too close.
careful darlin with what you broke
my edges are jagged and shattered
and I'll not hesitate to lick the blood from your fingertips
as it slowly drips
taste your sorrows upon my lips
just...Dig your fingers into my hips
and let the facade slip.
They like the way I live on the edge,
dance with the demons in my head
until they get close to my bed
there are dangers under my pillow
monsters in the closets
under my bed a story of wins and losses
never forgotten tales of forsaken causes.
Wander these city streets, feel the pavement beneath my feet
listen to my own words echoing through my mind...
I wish you loved me like you used to
don't let that motherfucker slide
I'm scarred as fuck and you're afraid I'll ask you to put the pieces back together
I love you
I'm sorry the world's gone to shit kid
I'm fine
your aunt stabbed herself in front of the little one last night
fuck with me some more and I'ma fuck you up
read me at your own risk
what's a nice kid like you doing in a place like this
sorry I got tanked and lost my shit
breathe through the panic,
the kids are good, 4.0 students all day long
I want you
fuck you
I'm sorry our life isn't normal kiddo
I am damn good at what I do
normal is overrated and easily debated
touch me and I'll stick a pair of scissors in your fucking leg
we'll all do whatever we have to to survive baby
I'm about to throw my phone through the damn wall
fuck me
I'm tired of being lonely
I'm sorry
please
They like to watch me dance on the edge
receive an invite to my bed
fuck a little bit with my head
watch me see red.
I'll sing for you, bleed for you, shatter my dreams for you
lick the blood off these bones, in midnight's twilight we are all alone
searching for something to call home
looking for an escape from the ache of this place
I am no cookie cutter queen with rainbow dreams
I am the teeth chewing at my own seams
the grey area in between
you and me
and all the things we don't want to see.
That's a little deep and raw for me lil. Just wanted you to know I'm still here.
ReplyDeleteIt comforts me greatly to read your words and know that you are still here, sunnygirl.
DeleteI'm with Leigh, a bit deep for me too. Sending huge (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteRoz
Hugs back atcha Roz. That are very appreciated.
DeleteHear you, lil.
ReplyDeletelove & light.
Words don't even come close to expressing how grateful I am for those words Bleu.
DeleteI am without words.
ReplyDeleteBut I too am here.
(with, you know, the rock and a candle...)
Jz,
Deleteooh, the addition of the candle is a nice and much needed touch. I appreciate you!!
The rawness of this piece conveys an unhibited nature about yourself. I haven't posted much, but I do think of my blog friends, especially you. I won't offer some bullshit line like how your strength is to be envied, you'll persevere, etc. I will offer hugs. Keep feeling the way you need to feel, we are here to be what you need - support.
ReplyDeleteLovely! This made me giggle and gave me quite a bit of relief
ReplyDelete