Saturday, April 25, 2015


 I still have a neat blog award thingy to do, and it's probably going to be the best thing I write this month, but I feel like it deserves actual thought...

I've been working. A lot. Technically, I'm pretty sure it's called volunteering when you're not getting paid, but it sure feels a hell of a lot like work!
On the bright side, I have been offered a paid position starting at the end of summer. Details to be discussed this week.
So why work for free now? Because it's got to be done, and we will both have to work within the constraints of what I put out now.

I had a moment today...A moment when I decided I couldn't do this. All these training materials, all these manuals, and the codes and this's and thats...Writing and rewriting and adding and subtracting, when to leave it when to change it, knowing when it's stupid but you can't change it or when it's stupid and you actually can change it, or when it's stupid because you already changed it and didn't do it right...It's so complex. To complex. Fucking complicated. And if I screw this up, it's bad bad--I'm screwed, he's screwed, it's all screwed up.

I took a couple days off. So now I'm officially behind. But...I had also, obviously reached the point of falling apart, too much information was blending together in my head. And did I mention that I decided I probably can't? Because damn, complicated.

On the bright side, if I can get my shit together and pull this off, future retirement might not look like this:
And maybe eventually he could retire too. For more than one day even!


  1. Wishing you the best of everything. Hang in there, you know you can do it.

    1. Thank you, sunnygirl!

      On those doubtful days, it's nice to see your vote of confidence!

  2. ((Hugs)) Lil, you can so do this. Sending positive thoughts your way.


    1. Roz,
      thank you for the encouragement! I can definitely use all of the positive thoughts you want to send my way!


Play nice.