Sunday, September 27, 2015


Before I get to rambling, I would just like to say that this is my 1,000th post. By all rights, it should have probably occurred in March, but my blogging has been sporadic at best.
Given the ups and downs, the length of times between posts, and the distinct lack of D/s related content lately, I would like to thank those of you who have stuck with me over the years, those of you who are new here and for some reason found something worth staying for, and the random (albeit occasionally sorely misled by Google) visitors who happen upon my crazy corner and take time out of their days to browse through the insanity that is me.

 Moving on...

So this was a hit I got some time ago, "Secretly making your wife submit" It bugged me.

That's kind of an asshole move, right? I mean, if you want to dominate someone, its probably good to have enough balls not to try and keep it a secret from that person. Is that really even dominance? Gotta say, I'm not sold on it...

Why? How? Why?
That concept is so far outside of anything I even remotely associate with D/s that I'm pretty sure I blinked, sat back, and started a draft which has been sitting in Blogger for months. Possibly since last year. I'm not really sure. I didn't check...
D/s is largely about moving past that stupid bullshit. Deceit, lies, the underhanded approach...What is the point if not to be yourself, the you that you hide, to show someone everything that you really are, and have them accept you anyways?

What value is there in submission that shall never know of its own existence, or be offered freely because some part of the soul whispers about a way that it knows to feel whole?

Maybe D/s really is about secrets. But if D/s is about secrets, it's not about keeping them. It's about opening up that crazy box, the dark closet, the rooms behind the walls, and letting someone else step inside. It's about feeling alive, not just telling yourself that you are.
Yes, perhaps D/s is about secrets. It is about the secrets we keep, the ones we whisper quietly in the dark, the ones we hold close to our hearts like the way we play with candle flames--touch it carefully and oh so quickly, watch the light flicker but do not linger lest the burn sets in.
Perhaps D/s is about secrets, and choosing to linger in the flame until the burn sets in...


  1. Yeah. When I first started blogging, there was someone out there who blogged about his stealth approach to making her submit.
    All I could think was, "if you haven't told her what you're doing… and she submits…? It's to shut up the asshole she's married to"

    But that may be only one woman's opinion...

    1. Jz,
      lol, yea "the stealth approach"...I'm sure it was wonderfully successful!

  2. Over the past several years of dedicated lurking with the occasional comment is the apparent honesty in this part of the spanking community.Some tell their story, some give advise and some just comment about the state of the world. But in all things it appears that this community treats others with respect ans more than anything else honesty.

    Lil, if the correspondent that has raised your ire had a bit more respect and a lot more honesty they may go a long way to finding a place in this community, but given their attitude, I can see that any person who associates with this creature will always be in danger of violence, especially domestic violence.

    1. Downunder Don,
      I honestly doubt that they had any D/s experience, and do sincerely hope that they don't reach the point where they think they have gained it!

  3. Wow! 1000? Congratulations!

    Lol at Jz's comment.

    It just wouldn't be the same without honesty.

    1. Thanks Misty!
      Yea--I laughed at Jz's comment too.

  4. Hi Lil, congratulations on 1000 posts, wow! I always enjoy reading here and you give me much food for thought. I'm so glad I found your blog :)

    Hmm, how can there be a power exchange if one party isn't in the know??


    1. Roz,
      my blogging has slowed down so much lately that I thought I'd never get there.
      Thank you!

      Good question...


Play nice.