Cyanide Queen

She cried until she had nothing left

Until there was only cyanide inside, somewhere once a sense of pride

Bought tickets to a ride

But the devil’s in the details, because when you buy the ticket

Someone else controls the gates of the carnival.

Empty maybe

But there’s something left inside

She’s made of cyanide and broken pride

Drained dreams busting at the fucking seams

She is me, now the cyanide queen

No respite on her knees, no more dreams of being free.

She is the cyanide that binds to your enzymes

Destroying all of your rhythm and rhyme

She is cyanide, she is me, she is my “what I have grown to be”.

Tears of acid rain

Let them fall—maybe they’ll sooth your pain

I’m the quiet one at the table

All the lost and quite a bit unstable

A lot silent, a little bit violent

Cyanide boiling up inside

Pick a moment, a person, any volunteering victim

She’s quiet but she’s a little bit violent in her silence.

Cyanide queen falling apart at the seams

I’ll melt a hole in your fucking soul

Until you think you need me, say “You complete me”

Maybe the acid rain will sooth your pain

White-tipped eyelashes, taste the salt of broken things

Because the devil’s in the details

And honey, you chose to take a walk in those heels.

They all watched me, the cyanide queen--Satan’s little angel

And my fall from grace, no attempting to save face

Such was never my place

But clearly I’ll have descended straight to hell.

I am the dust of all the stars I was once made of

I am your broken dreams, the cyanide hiding inside

The darkness in your silence, your secret violence

Your filthiest fantasy

The acid rain falling softly on your soul

And somehow still I’ll make you think that you need me to make you whole.

They clipped my wings and watched my fall from grace

Expecting me to make some attempt to once again rise

But I’m sitting here in hell

Got my own seat at the devil’s table

You’re welcome to come on down if you are willing and able.

Think I’ll sit back and put on the matching heels

Settle in and maybe make a deal

The devil’s in the details

The cyanide queen is sitting here on her knees

Dearest devil, do you need another ruler in your kingdom?

A vicious little bitch to brand?

Maybe another left hand?

Or maybe I’ll just take your fucking throne and rule alone.

There shall be no phoenix rising from these ashes

The darkness has become my storm

This is my fucking reborn

I am the ashes, the empty space between breaths

I am

That painful ache in your chest.

Cyanide, she is part of my norm

And when your heart is battered and torn

I’ll be there with my cyanide soul and my acid tears

To melt away your fears

I come not bearing comfort

For I am the passion in the darkness you hide within

The skeleton in your closet of all that you have ever lost

The one who holds all of your secret sins

I am the joy found in pain and the compounds of acid rain

Your pleasure found in pain.

They all watched my descent from grace, kept my wings and tried to save face

I got myself a seat at the devils table now

I am the forbidden fruit on the plate

Your secret hate

So I got myself a seat at the devil’s table

With my cyanide heart, I figure it’s a pretty good start

I’ll be every ride in his fucking playground

When the last angel has fallen

And all that you love has gone on

Look for me and perhaps that is where I’ll be found.