Friday, May 30, 2014

Home! For the Moment...

Wow. So I'm sitting in my living room in the afternoon (omg, it's still light out!) for the first time in a month, and it's...Awesome, but kinda crappy and a bit odd. Alpha's still away for his interview, and it's just me and the little guy (had to leave the big one with grandma.

I'm not really home, but it's good. Soo ridiculously good. Even if he's not here. And that is kinda crappy...

It's good to be writing here. It was good to see your comments and just...Be here. This place is so much a part of my expression of slavery, that it reminds me...Aw fuck, I'm a slave! Lol. The things I have accomplished this month have required me to be quite...Otherwise.

My big accomplishment was getting her medicaid within two days. Seriously, if you have ever applied for that shit, you know how bad it can be. My hope is to be able to be able to throw that first $85,000 dollars worth of bills away. Yea...That's for two days. I'm sure they're still doing the addition for the rest of the two weeks.

So yea...I haven't been lazy, for real. And I maybe could have gotten her a few hours of in home care every week, but I've had that job for eight dollars an hour, and I'll be damned if someone else is going to come do it for my mother. The help would be negligible anyway.

But where was I? Oh yea, I'm a slave. Almost forgot. Except I couldn't...It's in my damn bones, the way my mind work, the things I think as I drift off to sleep, the little butterflies when I hear his voice, the feeling that settles over me when I settle in front of this blog...

It is good to be home. He's not here, and I'll be gone again in the morning, but damn it's good for now.

And...Thank you. It was awesome to have to spend more than half an hour replying to comments. Totally awesome.

12 comments:

  1. Glad you were able to get home even if it was for only a short while.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sunnygirl,
      me too! It's a lovely morning.

      Delete
  2. Lil, you couldn't be lazy if you tried. Glad you're home for a few short hours. Sending all the best wishes in the world to Alpha. Wishing for the best. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sarah,
      Oh, I'm just really good at pretending I'm not lazy. Lol.

      Thank you!

      Delete
  3. Get some rest in yourself, be bloody lazy lol

    Hope all works out for Alpha, for you all.

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tori,
      Oh, it's been an awesome 12 hours so far--the only things I'm going to do that I don't want to are feed the chickens (ahhhh, fowl little bitches), and go back to my moms. But right now, in front of my blog with coffee? It's awesome.

      Thank you!

      Delete
  4. Glad you got that little bit of time at home, even without Him there. Wishing you both thoughts and good wishes. x

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    Replies
    1. Oh Joolz, this little bit of time at home really is wonderful.
      Thank you!

      Delete
  5. So happy for you Lil that you got to spend some time at home, even if Alpha isn't there. Sending best wishes to Alpha. I agree with Tori, get some rest while you're there.

    Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way.

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roz,
      there's something refreshing about just getting the chance to be home. It's been great. Gone by super fast, but that's okay.

      Thank you Roz! Can use all the positive thoughts I can get--gotta get them somewhere, and my own head has been a bit deficient in them lately.

      Delete
  6. yay, glad you got some home time, hope that helps to recharge you a bit. Here's to being lazy, real soon, with Alpha... Hey, it's bound to happen eventually, right?! (fingers crossed)

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    Replies
    1. mc kitten,
      Eventually, yessss!
      Thank you!

      Delete

Play nice.