I was thinking about what turns me on, what gets me off, what makes me melt and creates that sensation of absolute, "yes, whatever you want whenever you want it" with no inhibitions or reservations.
What really floats my boat.
The thing is...They're my emotional kinks. And to call them kinks seems so trivial, so minimizing, because a kink is ultimately more about what you like than who you are...
Security. Safety. Fear. Loyalty. Trust--real true, deep trust. Baring my truth with no reservations and being accepted--being mentally and emotionally naked, which also ties in with humiliation I guess.
At the core of my emotional "kinks" lies having a deep and unquestioning sense of safety and security. Everything else spiderwebs out from that.
He's been trying. Really fucking hard. And honestly, I haven't done great at jumping off the bitch train. But I had the above realizations as he was wrapped around me before heading out the door this morning. Because I felt that sense of safe and secure rolling off of him into me for the first time in a very long time. And I just wanted to crawl into it and curl up, and stay there, and please it, and exist only there. Always.
Hi Lil,yes! Safety and security, I'm so glad you felt those things again. Awesome quote!
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
Me too Roz, me too.
DeleteGlad that you enjoyed the quote!
I am happy to read things are starting to move in a better direction. Your words ring very true for me as a submissive. hugs abbby
ReplyDeleteThank you, abby! Perhaps that is part of the roots of submission which make it even possible...?
DeleteAnd I just wanted to crawl into it and curl up, and stay there, and please it, and exist only there. Always. Your words - so as Nike says, Do It.
ReplyDeleteSunnygirl,
Deletelol. Good advice, as always.
I love Patricia Briggs - I can never decide which of her series I prefer: Mercy Thompson or Alpha & Omega. Either way, she's just good!
ReplyDeleteReally, really glad to hear that the moments of good are starting to make their way back. I'm rootin' for you guys. (Can you hear the rustle of my pom-poms?)
Jz,
Deletesome days I think you're the only one! And then I wonder how the fuck we pulled that off in both directions--someone is rooting for us!? and, how the hell did we end up knowing so few people who actually root for us. Lol.
I appreciate the hell out of you (that is meant to be complimentary. Lol)
Security is invaluable!
ReplyDeleteksst,
Deletevery true!
Wonderful post, Lil! Trust, safety and security...so very important in a relationship! So happy to see that you are making progress...sending lots of positive energy your way.
ReplyDeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
Thank you Cat!
DeleteYes, so very important.