Friday, October 22, 2010

Need to serve

His finger traced a delicate line down the sweat on my back as I gasped for breath. "Come here." As I rolled towards Him He set a finger under my chin and lifted my face to meet His eyes. "It's to easy for you to fall into thinking that you serve Me because I want you to little one. You need to remember that you serve Me because you NEED to."
How very scarily true.

I have been thinking about the difference between submission and surrender. Is there a difference? I think so. To me, submission is an action. Surrender is a step beyond action into a state of being. It's like a need versus a want. Like speaking the word grace or being in a state of grace.
I feel like I never really knew what true love was. For 12 years I have loved M, not always with passion, not always with purity. But always deeply. Now, it feels as if He is all I live and breath. Leaving the house alone to go to work in the morning is almost painful. My mind feels hazy and I only want to be by His side. Our passion is all-consuming, He slides into my mind every time He slips into my body. When He explodes filling me with Him, I am complete. A whole piece of the intricate and never-ending universe. Sitting at His feet, I am where I was meant to be, resting on my knees, staring into His eyes, my soul is on fire, feeling an endless love that never tires.

And so the real world beckons with the screaming of children and the seemingly ever-present need to go to work. Meh.

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