Tuesday, February 4, 2014

February...

While I am pleased that January is over, its bad luck seems to be attempting to creep into February.

Alpha's truck broke down. Not the easy fix broke either. There's a tournament every other weekend until hell freezes over forever. And Kiddo's chess coach is stressing me out because he keeps talking about nationals and it looks like that just isn't going to be in the budget.
The real stresses of my day though (hang onto your hats, this one's a doozy), are chocolate molds.

Kiddo wants a chess cake for his birthday, you see. And while I was able to experiment and create a cake that is checkered inside, I wasn't able to try the board and pieces because I didn't have the molds.
The molds arrived yesterday, and I have serious doubts about the squares--they aren't separate! It's like one big huge square with lines, which simply won't work for a chessboard! Alpha seems to think that we will be able to cut them out, but I have my doubts...
Did I mention that my kid is a pain in the ass and not only does he want 12 points worth of pieces on the cake, he wants it set up in checkmate! I'm too busy obsessing about whether the board itself will actually work or not to be overly concerned with that at the moment...If I can't set up a checkmate with that many pieces, I shouldn't be playing the game.
The chocolate experimentation begins today.

My hormones are doing what they do best--reminding me that, while they consistently try to ruin my life get out of whack, they will be as unpredictable as possible. This month I find myself feeling consistently pissed off unpleasant, but with a functioning sex drive that I am somewhat unfamiliar with.
It's not helping my general confusion.
Owned, what's that? Seriously, he's going to beat the snot out of me if I don't get a handle on my attitude soon...

But wait! February is a new month, and I still sound suspiciously like it is January. I don't know why I get like this for the entire month before my birthday. Every. Single. Year.


19 comments:

  1. lol at the picture... so true!

    Good luck with the chocolate. Wish I had some advice but my chocolate expertise ends at eating it. Maybe a hot, sharp knife will cut them? Huh, yeah, I don't know...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Misty,
      that pic is one of my favorites--I confess to using it on multiple occasions.

      Delete
  2. At least when you experiment with chocolate you can enjoy eating the fails, lol. Good luck with the cake, It's only 4 days into the month, maybe it will fool you and things will get better soon :)

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    Replies
    1. Faerie,
      I can only afford to screw up with the white chocolate, unfortunately. Lol.

      I sure hope it gets better soon! Thank you.

      Delete
  3. Hell, im just so darn impressed that your confident in making a cake like this......seriously i cant get a damn plain sponge to turn out right!

    Deep breath, experiment and im sure it will turn out fine.

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tori,
      I searched for (what I thought) was the perfect chocolate cake for a long time. I'm not sure how the recipe adjusts to different altitudes. I'll send you the recipe if you want.

      Delete
    2. i will take you up on that, thanks lil, i am trying to improve on my cooking.

      x

      Delete
  4. Lil,

    Would these be of any help to you?

    http://www.thekitchn.com/birthday-baking-chessboard-cak-39973
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwiP1B4CkiA
    http://thecharmedcupcake.com/2013/04/21/checkmate/

    (Pulled from a baker's listserv I belong to)

    I'm sure you will figure it out! And it'll be great :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bleuame,
      Ooh, I've read the charmed cupcake one, but I'll definitely look at the others. Thank you! I need all the help I can get. lol.

      Delete
  5. OK the stylish chess background has gone - are you using it for a template, or is just getting too much to take?
    My mother's approach to following a recipe was to put the picture of what the final dish should look like alongside the actual one. Generally they tasted the same.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DelFonte,
      I'm going through another "I hate chess" phase, which made that awesome background suddenly wildly inappropriate.

      Ooh, I like her approach! Sounds quite valid...

      Delete
  6. Well, personally, I'd like to thank you for getting like this just to keep me company!
    Chin up, chica, it'll work.
    (Could you fiddle a base of white into some of the alternate squares, then do dark or milk all over the whole rest of the thing?)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jz,
      Nice to be in good company! Though, this will possibly be followed by a whine so off-putting that you might rather not have any company at all. Lol.

      I think that I can cut them if I do it thin enough, but that would probably be plan #2. I'm hoping not to have to resort to plan #5 (child makes his own cake out of a disastrous pile of crumbs and is pointedly reminded that starving Ethiopian children would kill to have said pile of crumbs).

      Delete
  7. I was thinking along the same lines as Jz. I know it's fiddly, and perfectionistic, but how about melted dark chocolate painted into every other square with a paint brush. Once its hardened, fill the rest with white chocolate? I would do the back in the white chocolate, it won't show through the dark chocolate, like the dark might show through the white. Guittard white choc chips melt very nicely, and are very rich tasting. I think cutting will either crack the squares, or a hot knife will blurr the edges until they are not even.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lm,
      you know what, that is now plan #2 (don't ask what plan #2 was before your suggestion. Shudders*).

      I have the chocolate already (can't afford to mess up with the dark), I'm going to try cutting first (with just a really sharp knife) because the molds do have small indention along the lines of where the squares will be, so I hope that if I do the chocolate thin enough...I have enough white chocolate for a round of failure. Darn child...

      Thanks for the ideas!

      Delete
  8. Love that poster (it's so me). I don't know what it is about February! I always call it the "longest shortest month of the year" ... time drags. I think February actually snuck in a stole January!!!

    I am anxious to hear how your cake turns out. That is definately a challenge!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. geekie kittie,
      I cannot seem to avoid using that picture repeatedly, lol.

      I start my experimenting today, and I'll put together the final product on Sat/Sun.
      I'm dreaming about the damn thing...

      Delete
  9. Love the poster too. I have no doubt you will succeed in making a perfect cake. Sorry about January bleeding over into February, but maybe it will get better as the month progresses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sunnygirl,
      I appreciate your faith!
      I do so hope it improves...

      Thank you!!

      Delete

Play nice.