Saturday, June 22, 2013

A Question of How to Let Him Know...

"I feel like i've been hit with a mack truck! In a good way! Thank you for this site..Been with Fiance for 12 years, kids. I've always been an independent, stubborn, headstrong woman who has just been kinda going along with the motions over the years until... i just found out i was preggy with 4th baby at an older age recently. I have an overwhelming deep desire to finally submit to him fully and unconditionally. I now have a insatiable craving surrender my control and give in to him on all levels. It's like he's finally "won" me over and i crave his discipline and guidance. I actually want to wear skirts now instead of jeans to please him. He has known in the past that I like to be treated roughly in bedroom but has no idea what i'm feeling now. It's gone off the charts and it's like i finally feeling like a real woman for the first time in my life. I don't want him to think i'm weird but need tips on how to let him know. I even actually want to give in and get Married although I have fought that this whole time.. I'm not sure what's going on but I am feeling more free in a way than i ever have.."

 I think that  none of us want our significant others to think that we are weird! There comes a point however, when we just have to have some faith in them. You have been together for a long time, and chances are that it would take a lot more than a desire to submit to make him think you are weird.

And really, there are often times where we initially think that something is weird, then we adapt to the idea and it becomes normal.

As far as tips on how to let him know...Variations of this question are by far the most common subject that I am asked about. I think that I am probably about the worst person to ask when it comes to queries of communication!

I believe that the first step is always to examine oneself--why you want to really submit, what that submission looks like to you, how far you think is realistic, questions of that nature. Because it is immensely helpful to have some clarity in our own minds before bringing these ideas to them.

My opinion is that you are going to have to take the leap--after some serious introspection, sit down and just tell him how you feel.
You have to believe in him enough to know that its okay if he thinks it's weird. Really. You have been together for a long enough period of time, that a revelation like this shouldn't break your relationship.

In my mind, the straightforward approach is always best. Even though it can be somewhat difficult.
I think that the secret is to really examine yourself first, have a respectful approach, and be open minded to whatever his reaction might be.

Best of luck.


  1. Its difficult i think trying to broach this subject because there is that worry that they wont get it, i dont think i can add anything useful that you havent already said..

    its really down to lots of open and honest communication..being prepared to listen as well as be heard.


    1. tori,
      it really can be kind of scary, can't it?

      I think you are right, it's so important to be willing to listen if one wants to be heard.

  2. Hi Lil,

    Such great advice. There really is no other way that open and honest communication. I like what you say about first examining yourself. Figuring out why you want this and how it looks to you. I think that is a very important first step.


  3. Once I decided that I wanted to be his Daasi 24x7, here is something that worked for me. I picked two areas and modified my behavior quietly. I would rush to him as soon as he called out to me. Before I would get to him, but not immediately. Now, I would put an end to whatever I was doing and respond to him immediately. I also started to hand deliver him his meals and waited on him till he finished as if he was at a restaurant with great service. He noticed within three days that I was doing something different. He asked me what was going on. I just said, I wanted to be more attentive. Then I added a few more things. We eventually had our conversation, but by then I did not have to tell him much, he had seen it in action.

    1. Desi Daasi,
      thank you for sharing your your helpful thoughts!


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