"So I "discovered" my love/interest/need what-have-you for BDSM at a young age (like, think 4th grade) - as in i realized I wasn't wrong, I wasn't "sick" and it was okay...anyway. Now I'm just kind of stuck at a crossroads. There's not really a "mentor" I can find, and I feel like i've almost exhausted the available self-research opportunities. Is there anywhere or anyone I can more-or-less talk to about this? I...am tired of feeling more alone, then in the community."
Sorry it has taken me so long to get to this question. Better late than never right?
Alright, I'm gonna be honest here--this is a tricky question for me. Not because it is inherently complicated, but because, having stopped by your blog, I realize that age is an issue.
Technically, this blog is for 18+ readers, and there's all sorts of laws that can create serious problems for "adults" who interact with underage people when things like sex or BDSM are the topics of conversation.
The world doesn't work like that.
If everyone confined themselves to those rules, I wouldn't be married to Alpha.
All that being said, I don't know that I can really offer you any solutions.
Scarletteen is a site just for teens that does have some posts about BDSM if you search it.
It is possible that Luna at Submissive Guide may have some information on her site that you will find useful. There is also a possibility that she could point you in the right direction or offer you advice that you may find helpful.
As far as mentors and people to talk to go, I think that you need to be extremely careful.
Chances are that anyone worth talking to, will be somewhat hesitant because of your age, and people who jump at the chance to mentor you, may not have your best interests in mind and will possibly view you as easily exploitable.
If you are absolutely dead set on finding a mentor now, I would advise that you stick to people of the submissive persuasion, and keep in mind that anyone can pretend to be anything they want to be on the internet.
Often, it is a condition of humanity to feel as if we simply cannot wait for something. That is a condition I myself seem to be particularly afflicted with lol. However, it doesn't hurt to wait.
I think that if you were to spend some more time discovering who you are as a person and exploring your place in the world, you will find that being a bit older will be beneficial when it comes to interacting with people in the BDSM community.
I am sorry to hear that you feel alone and not part of the community. But, I would advise you to not take it personally. You could, quite rightfully, be considered very dangerous to the health of anyone over 18 (I suppose there is an age variance in legalities depending on place).
Regardless of the realities of life, you are still considered to be a child in the eyes of the law. And that's murky shark-infested water that most decent people want to stay away from altogether.
Please don't think that I am preaching down to, or attempting to minimize you because of your age. A fair amount of my life was spent being treated as if I was too young for intelligent thought, and that is not a favor I would wish to return to anyone.
I am simply trying to point out possibilities as to why you are having difficulties finding people to interact with in the community. And I also think that it's very important for you to know just how dangerous it can be out here--rare is the person who will have your best interests at heart.
I think that you can learn a lot from yourself. You said that you have done research, but we often overlook ourselves as the greatest source of information--why do you want a mentor, what interests you about bdsm, why do you feel you need someone outside of yourself to interact with, who are you and what makes you tick, etc.
To really explore bdsm, or anything for that matter, we have to first begin exploring ourselves. No matter what age we are.
An understanding of ourselves helps us to a greater understanding of the world, what we do, and who we are within it.
On the sidebar, there are a few links to websites that you might find of interest, and at the top of the sidebar, there is a link to contact me, should you wish to use it.
I recommend keeping an eye on the comments on this post because there are some lovely people who drop by here, and hopefully, some of them will have thoughts that you will find helpful.