Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Breaking my Own Rule...

I have this little rule for myself--nothing gets published immediately if I am depressed, really angry, or upset. It sits in the drafts folder until I cool down and decide if I want to post it or not.

Yea...
I'm gonna break that rule.

My body has been doing odd things you see. Starting with "unspecified pelvic pain". Such a useful diagnosis, no? Then came the weight gain. Averaging ten pounds a month actually. Oh yay.

Of course, my tests are all perfect. Couldn't be healthier. There's that minor issue of the ovary that hurts being twice as large as the other one, but the radiologist person classified it as normal.

Naturally, there was an objection to my refusal of the chlamydia test...Until I looked at the nurse and told her straight out, "We have the kind of relationship where if he wanted to screw someone else, he would just tell me he was going to, and that would be that. If you really want to though, you can run your little test"
And that my friends, was the end of that conversation.

So back for blood work next week. Then the week after for results. And if I still appear healthy as can be, off to a specialist.

The silly  thing is, none of this bothers me. The fact that there might be something wrong doesn't bother me. The tests, the doctors, the specialists, none of that bothers me. Feeling like shit...Well, that bothers me a little.

But what bothers me, what really fucking bothers me, is suddenly weighing nearly as much as I did when I was pregnant with my first kid. And gaining it at the same fucking rate too.

29 comments:

  1. And I assume you/they had you take a pregnancy test?

    Gosh- hope you feel better soon!!

    ~faithful

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. faithful,
      tested twice and an ultrasound--not pregnant.

      Delete
  2. could you be pregnant?

    Just asking, cos with with pregnancy no 4 we were trying, and my periods stopped but all the tests came back negative. I was ticking some very scary ovarian cancer boxes.
    Finally got a scan and tada! was pregnant!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mamacrow,
      positively, definitely, certainly, not pregnant.

      Congratulations on the pregnancy!

      Delete
  3. Just enjoy the part where it's not really bothering you.
    I can work myself into such a complete tizz, it takes days to unwind.
    Take the grace with grace.

    And stand on your head a lot so the weight will go to your boobs...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jz,
      lol--you are totally awesome.

      Do you think that some sort sort of hanging upside down would work instead of head stands? You know how it is with finicky necks...

      Delete
  4. My fingers are crossed that you find out what is bothering you soon. Like Jz, if I were you right now I would be in a such tizz over not knowing so go you for keeping it together :) and the weight will almost certainly not be permanent x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ava,
      Thank you!
      Lol, you don't make false promises do you? I like the "almost certainly" bit.

      Delete
  5. Oh goodness...I feel your pain. The weight gain would be torture - and it does seem weird that you'd be gaining it so fast. I do hope you are okay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brigit,
      Yea...Having spent my life on the other end of the weight spectrum, I'm not adapting well lol.
      It didn't help that I calculated it out by weeks in a year if the gain didn't slow...

      Delete
  6. Oh lil what a worry, i do hope they come to a conclusion soon, its horrid not knowing.

    I wish i had your strengh, i would be worried awful, probably make myself sick with worry.

    I suppose there is nothing but a wait now until results come through.

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tori,
      I'm pretty sure it's just my body doing what it does--messing with me 'cuz it thinks it's cute or some shit.
      It is driving me minorly insane though...

      Thank you!

      Delete
  7. Damn bodies. It's not like we can't find enough trouble just inside our heads, we have to have uncooperative bodies also? I do hope things start to become clear and resolve soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. gg
      lol! I know right? It'll getcha one way or another!

      Thank you.

      Delete
  8. I hope the tests are able to resolve the problem. Good for you not worrying about it since there is nothing to be done until you have more info. Keeping fingers crossed. Sorry about the weight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sunnygirl,
      I'm sorry about the wight too lol.

      Thank you!

      Delete
  9. Us ladies have pretty crappy things that can go wrong with our bodies. Hope you find out what's going on soon and it can be treated easily x Sarah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sarah,
      right? For such an amazing creation, it can be soooo finicky.

      Thank you.

      Delete
  10. Uggggh!! Weight gain (unexplained or otherwise) sucks!!!!

    How is having an enlarged ovary 'normal'? Hope you get some answers and relief soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I forgot to say, I love your response to having the chlamydia test. Lol!!

      Delete
    2. Sarah,
      In the nurses defense, she handled it with remarkable aplomb. But really...We had had the discussion before, (several times) and I had finally had enough.

      Delete
  11. Sending positive and healing energy to you, and hoping for a quick resolution.

    cd

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guardian china doll,
      Thank you.

      Delete
  12. Sorry for all of the negative happenings lately. Sending good vibes and love~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon,
      thank you for your kind thoughts.

      Delete
  13. I know this post is old and I'm not a doctor so take this with a grain of salt but having deadly with the same issues I wish I had someone suggest this to me years ago. Have you considered that it might be PCOS?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *having dealt

      Delete
    2. Anon,
      the Dr. I saw in August actually suggested PCOS and endometriosis.
      Hope you don't mind my asking, but how did you deal with the PCOS? My understanding is that it is probably aggravating the endometriosis something terrible, so if I can get it under control, it would also benefit the endometriosis.
      If I'm making any sense...

      Delete
    3. I'll email you since it's hard to talk online, but there are some treatments available

      Delete

Play nice.