Sunday, October 20, 2013

Just Be...

I really haven't been feeling like myself lately.
We've both seen crazy, and it ain't pretty, so feeling like I'm popping out of my own brain isn't a reassuring feeling. Because that's what hormones do when they're out to get you--they try to ruin your life.

I want it so bad. I need it. That feeling of his ownership. To be pleasing...
But I have been falling apart left and right lately.

Standing in the kitchen, I leaned my head against his chest, feeling almost human. Stroking my cheek, he leaned down and whispered, "It's like flying dreams--you can't force it. You have to quit trying so hard and just let it happen. Let go. Just be."

That's a hard one for me. Always has been. Perhaps that is one of the reasons I feel the way that I do about BDSM--it helps me to enjoy the moment for what it is, not what it was, or what it might be...

Just be.
Here.
Now.
Such a simple concept, yet so incredibly difficult to practice...

12 comments:

  1. lil....I so understand how you are feeling. Type A personalities are not fun at all to manage. i do agree with your Master. 'Just be' is exactly what you need. Perfection is our motto, damn type A, and no matter how hard we try, it's never perfected enough. It's a vicious cycle. I do hope you can find a way to allow yourself to turn off your brain and just be...the high from that is exhilarating. hugs.

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    1. His SLut,
      ah yes, to turn off the brain. I need all the help I can get. Lol.

      Delete
  2. I wish I had all the right answers for you....

    Damn hormones.

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  3. He is so wise, but as you say easier said than done. Letting go is not one of my strengths so I have no answers for you either. One moment at a time.

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    1. sunnygirl,
      it is easier said than done. So true.

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  4. It's hard sometimes to just be in the moment...whatever moment.

    There are times when we stop thinking so hard it happens. Like meditation, mouse always thought you're supposed to empty your head. What mouse didn't realize in order to empty your head, you must begin by letting go the thoughts until none remain. So it's actually a lot of thinking...lol. The more you practice the easier it becomes.

    At least that's one way of looking at it.

    In the mood mouse has been in recently with the kids...if Daddy were to say to her "just be" mouse would be hard pressed to say, "[just be]what?" ;)

    Hugs,
    mouse

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    Replies
    1. mouse,
      that's a good way of looking at it.

      And yes, the kids...My eldest has been on a demonic roll lately...

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  5. Very wise words indeed, but so hard to do. Just letting go and being in the moment isn't a strength of mine either.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. Ros,
      it is surprisingly difficult, isn't it?

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  6. Fighting hormones is so hard. Breathe in, breathe out, let go. Maybe Yoga, relax. Music sometimes helps. When it comes to hormones - not sure anything helps.

    Hang in there.....

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    Replies
    1. Sarah,
      it does seem like the hormones always win...

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Play nice.