I really haven't been feeling like myself lately.
We've both seen crazy, and it ain't pretty, so feeling like I'm popping out of my own brain isn't a reassuring feeling. Because that's what hormones do when they're out to get you--they try to ruin your life.
I want it so bad. I need it. That feeling of his ownership. To be pleasing...
But I have been falling apart left and right lately.
Standing in the kitchen, I leaned my head against his chest, feeling almost human. Stroking my cheek, he leaned down and whispered, "It's like flying dreams--you can't force it. You have to quit trying so hard and just let it happen. Let go. Just be."
That's a hard one for me. Always has been. Perhaps that is one of the reasons I feel the way that I do about BDSM--it helps me to enjoy the moment for what it is, not what it was, or what it might be...
Such a simple concept, yet so incredibly difficult to practice...