Monday, June 30, 2014


We have been at ttwd for long enough for it to be always there in the undercurrents of our lives, no matter the distractions of the outside world.


I'm concerned that the focus is fading faster than I can grasp at it. Admittedly, the craziness of everything that is happening was kicked off while I was taking care of my mom, but it's not flowing back in like I had hoped it would.

And I have to make a decision which could end in me working full time as well. When I was working I had an incredibly difficult time switching out of work mode and back into "His" mode. If I applied and was accepted for the position, we'd  both be working. A lot.

Here we are, still at home, with me only working two days a month, and I feel like I've already lost my mojo. I mean, not that it was spectacularly on point to begin with, but still...

Believe it or not, I do have some D/s related thoughts floating in my drafts folder, but of course they are of the shit-storm inducing kind...I'm normally always up for a spirited debate, but I just don't have room in my head to provide arguments that support my opinions at the moment, so it will sit for a while.


  1. Sounds like you have way too much going on, lil, maybe a shit-storm post is exactly what you need :)...okay, maybe it's just me that thinks it could be fun, lol

    1. Misty,
      Lol! I figured that I'd wait for the dust to finish settling from the last time...

  2. Lil,

    I find when something major in our life is happening or there is a decision looming--work related, health related, etc--the energy does shift but the undercurrents are still there. Maybe try and focus on one or two D/s related things?
    I totally understand the difficulty in shifting from work mode, to "His" mode. But you aren't there yet and while I am sure that is a factor that enters your mind with the decision, maybe that can be left out of the equation, if that feels less pressure inducing.
    And to your last post (because I'm totally feeling too lazy to go back and comment there): Would you really, truly want him to make a decision for you on something that has such (from the sounds of it) long lasting affects?
    When it comes to my body and my health, H trusts me to look after myself...although with his input. And I totally empathize that it's annoying.

    1. Bleuame,
      I think that you definitely have something there--focusing on a couple of D/s things isn't overwhelming, but it is enough of a shift in consciousness to help me feel like I'm back on track.

      Truthfully, the affect of full-time work on D/s was kinda just my issue of the day--my biggest concerns are all really parenting related.

      Lol! Why do twice what can be done in one go?
      Well, on the surface yes--I don't know what to do, and I would really like him to just tell me! But really, in the grand scheme of life, this whole M/s life thing could be a bit disastrous if I didn't have to make those kinds of decisions for myself. And yes, it's quite annoying!!

  3. Put the D/s to work and let him help you and guide you. Might work getting you back to where you want to be.

    1. Blondie,
      ah well, he is only willing to offer so much guidance on this subject. Ultimately, the whole family will have to live with my decision, and if I'm not happy about it, it's not going to be good for any of us...

  4. May I just say that I LOVE that poster on mistakes...sounds like I may have written it. Sometimes I feel like things may need a little stirring...

  5. Petals MJ,
    I was thinking it would look good blown up and tacked on my wall...


Play nice.