Has it really been 7 days since my last post? Dunno how that happened...Actually, I lie--I know exactly how it happened. Kids, people, investors, more people, business stuff, broken car, dog drama, and did I mention all the fucking people?
I fell off the wagon. I know that's not news, I fell off a long time ago. Just how far I fell is only sinking in now though. You know, that point when the change becomes almost normal, then one day you wake up and realize that it's not actually your normal?
Yea...It's really difficult for me here--this whole power exchange thing. I was already drifting when we left, and now...If I want work, people need to see me as independent, and take away the fact that my car hates me and I can't drive myself anywhere, I am...It's hard to leave it at the door when most of the work is starting at home.
And I get attached to Little Miss Independent. She's competent and confident, shit gets done like it should, when it should. I have little interest in ever letting her turn off, tone down, or let go enough to be anything else.
The thing is...It's showing on us. We're good. Hell, even at our worst, we're still pretty damn good. But we're not us good. There's more snark, less harmony, less intimacy...
We will get it all figured out, all ironed out, all...But this whole entirely new life thing? It's complicated.
I want to be here more, and I will. I just gotta wrap my head around life as I know it now.
Did you notice? It's a whole new year.