Saturday, January 24, 2015

Needing the Need

The knife slides its way down treacherous body, slowly tracing lines like marks in the sand to be washed away by the glory of insatiable waves.

"You know you need it" he whispers as he leans over me.

I shake my head in disagreement fighting to hold on to what little shreds of sanity I have left. Even as my traitorous body betrays me, arching towards the sharp.

Why is it always the sharpest edges which have the greatest pull, the darkest ideas that shine the brightest in the shadows of night, the most dangerous distractions which call the loudest?

As the tears trickle down my face, in unwanted release, he tells me that I need it, and that "Some of us just need to be needed". And I realized something obvious, something basic, something which has been written in neon ink for ages--he needs my need. That's what he gets out of this whole arrangement. Beyond the obvious perks of service, and getting his way when he wants it.

My need feeds his being in some way. It fans the flames of who he is and solidifies the role he sees himself playing in this game of life. Who knew?

His hands, so large for their delicate touch, trace the tears across my cheeks as I finally admit to the lonely--I don't want to be needy and lonely!
"Oh baby, did you really think you wouldn't miss it? You've lived there your whole life. Of course you were going to miss it. 
This. Being mine. Being owned by me. You need it. And I need your need."


14 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Bleu,
      in that moment...It really was.

      Delete
  2. Beautiful. And dead on. I keep learning that he needs my need, in all the ways.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. gg,
      I do wonder why it has taken so many years for this concept to really hit me...?!

      Delete
  3. Isn't it amazing that two people can find their perfect partner in a world filled with so many different people with different needs. Happy for you both. Nice to hear a little joy after the week you've been through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sunnygirl,
      it truly is amazing. Almost enough to make a person believe in fate...

      It was good to feel a little joy too! Thank you.

      Delete
  4. Ahh....how wonderful for you ...and Him. We had a similar conversation this week...it puts to rest all those pesky little voices. Breathe, relax...and enjoy!
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. abby,
      those really are the best of conversations, aren't they?

      Delete
  5. Awwwwww! I've just melted.

    And your words...I love them, especially when they're this way and involve kink! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Misty,
      I must admit, it felt really good to have words like this to speak!

      Delete
  6. Beautiful Lil, so happy to read this and happy for you. Perfect :)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is so beautiful, it brought a tear to my eye. I read things like this that are like from books, fantasy, But to know that something as beautiful as this really exists, it just amazes me. Such a great way to be

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blondie,
      thank you!
      Your comment has gotten me thinking...Might lead to one of those rambling nonsensical posts that sounds okay in my brain, but reads like Greek!

      Delete

Play nice.