Miles Upon Miles of Concrete

I have already had enough of these city streets

I want to step outside and scream at these miles upon miles of concrete

all these people so secure in their sleep

and their ideas of what they want people to think they are.

It's a bitter pill to swallow

I have too much time to wallow.

I want to go home

and it's easy to be different when one can choose to be alone

secluded on their own.

I thought that wherever he went would be okay because he was my home
I underestimated the depths to which the mountains were in my bones
what it would feel like when the trees no longer whispered in my ears
and the familiar stars no longer sung their songs in the dark.

I always knew that I didn't quite fit in this world

so I made my home

a place so far away that the stars aren't the same, 

where only the trees know your name
and the ability to survive reminds you that you are alive.
Where who you are is more important than what you have done.

It's lonely here.
Here in these city streets
with these miles upon miles of concrete
where no one knows your name
they just know that you aren't the same.

I don't care about fitting in

yet here I don't fit
and I have never before known
this homesickness which seeps into my bones
from the tiny cracks in my soul.

Over the years, I've spent lots of time alone
but never before have I known such consuming loneliness.