Friday, January 16, 2015

Insufferable People

In my defense, this is really more of a rant than a whine...

From an educational standpoint, public school already sucks. The little one is bored to tears, and his teachers won't give him more challenging work (he asked for something more challenging that 3+3, and they weren't having any of it).
I know that they have to teach to the most common denominator, and they seem like very nice ladies, but I'll be damned if I watch him fall through the cracks because he's actually ahead of the class and is really only struggling with the concepts that have been dumbed down.

Though that's really a side rant today...Oh yes, I'm full of good things at the moment!

I enjoy a certain amount of humility in a human being. I should probably rephrase that...Well, maybe I really shouldn't, but I'm going to anyways: I hate pompous people who just know they are better than than the entire population of earth.

Seriously, I've met some pretty awful chess parents, but scholastic chess isn't big here. Why does the one parent I've met have to be an insufferable ass? What you have and how long you're willing to blather on about it doesn't make you a better person.

The irony? He's the type of person that looks down on clubs and kids like mine, yet his son, for all his "amazing classes, experience, and overall complete brilliance", is not all that great at the game.

He asked about Alpha's work, and quickly changed the subject because it's complicated, and he didn't understand so he couldn't know it all in the conversation. I suppose that when you already know everything, there's not too much room for anything else...

I think that how a person thinks of themselves says a lot about them. Chances are, if you know with absolute certainty that you are the salt of the earth and far superior to anyone with less education or material means than yourself, you're actually just an asshole with a big paycheck and a couple of bratty kids.

My son lost his first tournament game here, and he misses his tutor and old coach. I told him something along these lines:

And that it's important to never forget where you came from. He has earned his ratings fighting tooth and nail, one slow month at a time, in a club lacking the economic ability to travel to big tournaments. He was one of the best scholastic players in the state, and he conducts himself with appreciable humility. Much like me, albeit to a far lesser extent, he knows what it's like to come from nothing, and he doesn't respect people based merely on how they feel about themselves, or how high they scored on the luck of life's draw.

Here. Right now. In this moment. I want so very fucking badly to just go home.

I miss our club. And standing out there last night, listening to that man go on? I would have given damn near anything to have my son's tutor or old coach standing next to me rolling their eyes in the dark and reminiscing about the amazing ability of mankind to be so lost in their own self-absorption, that their kids will never even have a shot at being good people. Because they don't actually care about good people--they care about being better than other people.

I was good--no random thoughts took an inappropriate stroll out of my mouth...Next week I'll meet the mother. Alpha seems to think that she'll probably be far to good to speak to me. One can always hope right? Because really,


  1. Lil,

    For the most part,people suck.
    But eventually you will find the ones who are more alike; it always seems to take wading through several pastures of sheep first.

    1. Bleu,
      People really do suck. And holly crap, there are a whole lot of them here!


      I know that giving up isn't an option, but I'm thinking of trying on the solitary city life. I have a feeling that goes better in the country...

  2. I have nothing to offer here except my total, complete, and abject commiseration.
    WAY to many people use meaningless measurements.

    Sadly, spitting on them rarely works...
    (but we can have fun practicing our aim!)

    1. (see how deeply I was commiserating? I left off the second "o" and didn't proof!)
      clearly, your words struck home... ;-p

    2. Jz,
      Ooh, spitting on them!!
      Seems like maybe I should be thinking of that before contemplating drawing blood...I may have to rethink my approach a bit.
      How's your aim? Want to come to chess next week?

      I was so wrapped up in loving your comment, I didn't even catch the missing "o" until you pointed it out! I am clearly slipping in more ways than one...

  3. Did I do that right? Comment moderation on? or am i just a clumsy typist and bad with button?

  4. Crap, I am bad with a button. Well there goes all the humor in my original comment. I had said "I know this is inappropriate and comes out of left field but i love you lil". and I do, you are every introverted sub woman's everyman. I think he already drinks the blood of his enemies, but I'm going to make the dreams don't die... quote into a poster for my son. :)

    1. lm,
      maybe Blogger just likes pulling your leg--sometimes I swear it's laughing at me.

      Aw, you made me grin from ear to ear. Thank you.

      And it's totally poster worthy. Nods* I'll take two please. And if you do bumper stickers, I'd like one for each side of my car. Just so no one misses out.

  5. That sucks Lil, I can't stand the know it all's and those who think they are 'better'. I'm sorry the teachers won't give your son the challenges he needs. It seems unfair for a child to be disadvantaged because they are ahead of the class.


    1. Roz,
      Joyous people to be around, huh?

      It does see unfair, doesn't it? And here I was concerned he'd get left behind for being behind. Sure showed me...

  6. I'm so sorry Lil that things are not going so great. Hope it gets better soon.

  7. Wow, sounds like you've made a seamless move and are settling in perfectly.

    Awww, lil, I'm sorry things aren't working out better. Change is hard, it just is. You didn't just have a change, you've had a complete upheaval, a change of epic proportions. So ya, this is gonna be hard. But if anyone can do it and do it well, it's you. It'll get better, just hang in there.

    1. Sarah,
      of yea--it's peachy.

      Thank you! I'll try extra hard to hang in there without getting carried away and trying to actually hang someone irritating.

  8. Just remember that those people who think they know everything about everything have no insight into how others see them. Hope things improve soon, as Sarah says, hang in there.

    1. Julie,
      Sometimes I wish a magic mirror would appear in front of their faces and show them!
      Thank you. I think they will...I'm just not adjusting all that great at the moment I guess.

  9. lil - I'm one of those moms too- i believe in our values, in how people should treat each other, in what is and what isn't important. But it's hard - because that's not a loud way to be. The asses - they're loud. It takes a lot of time to find a few like-minded people. And we (us and our kids) still have to be out there with everyone else. Kids see people for what they are though. Maybe there are other chess kids out there who will come back to the group now that there are some nice people in it :)

    1. gg,
      The asses really are loud, aren't they? And since I'm not big on pushing the details of my personal life and my children's down other peoples throats, it's much easier just to let them blather on.

      I do hope we find some decent chess kids. We had truly awesome kids back home--you know, the kind you let spend the night who are willing to play with little brother too, enjoy discussing the finer moral points of existence, and are loyal to the core. I miss them.
      It's mostly old guys here with a few obnoxious teens. But the year is young...


Play nice.