Monday, March 8, 2010


I used to be absolutely terrified of submitting. As time goes by, my fear evolves. No longer afraid of submission, I often seem to find myself surrounded by fear of loss. For a long time I avoided giving myself completely to avoid the devastation that loss would cause me. Now that I can truly say "I am his, mind, body, and soul," I now must admit to the fear that accompanies this experience. I am having a hard time coping with the fact that there is a possibility that, one day, I may lose Him. I mean, we all die eventually right. Dunno why mortality has been on my mind so much lately, but I do know, that without Him, my Dominant, my Master, my Love, my Life, I am nothing. Perhaps it is unhealthy to so fully define oneself by another being, but He is so intricately entwined in mine now, that I could not possibly imagine living beyond him.
Each day I pray, that no matter how long we are for this earth, He will be here for long after I have gone. And I will wait for him there, as I have many times before, to be reborn into this passionate dance we call life.

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