Thursday, May 17, 2012

Done, Finished, New Chapter, Moving On

The longest week and a half in history is over. Thing1 and I are not on speaking terms, but she made it to rehab alive despite our 3 AM fight about her yelling at my crying child and the multitude of arguments that ensued before and afterwards.

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I had enough time to think about other things today...

And I realized that I am having some serious cravings of my own. I think about his Domination like PMS attracts me to chocolate.
Though it's there, under the surface, impacting all major decisions, a right here, left there, words spoken and unspoken; it's the expression, the feeling in my stomach, the loss of control, the surrender, the rush and sense of deep satisfaction that accompanies acts of D/s that I find myself deeply in need of.

I have comments to respond to...I'll get there when my brain finishes rewiring it's fried circuits.

18 comments:

  1. Glad that part is over. Better days ahead

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    1. sunnygirl, I have been anticipating them like a kid drooling over ice cream.

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  2. Sending thoughts of stregnth, temperance and courage as you face what lies ahead. Just remember to breathe lil and be gentle to yourself.

    Big hugs,
    mouse

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  3. "I think about his Domination like PMS attracts me to chocolate."

    Perfectly know that feeling 0.o

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    1. Ivyvines, There was a time I might have said nothing was better than chocolate...But I have changed my mind lol.

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  4. Lots of hugs and warm thoughts

    tori xx

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    1. tori, thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.

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  5. Yay, you survived! And, you let her live too. That is something to be very proud of :) I wish her tons of luck in getting clean and sober, it's a long hard road, but worth the effort.

    I love the pms and chocolate line, nice analogy for the need for dominance.

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    1. faerie, I thought that letting her live was an exceptional achievement lol. I wish her luck too--because if it doesn't work this time, we aren't doing it a tenth.

      Lol, by last night I was thinking that my analogy to chocolate was a severe understatement.

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  6. Glad you've got this far. I love how you've likened the pull of his dominance to the pull to chocolate :) Add coffee and a cigarette and that's how I'd feel maybe. Lol

    Dee x

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    1. Dee, yea, as I said above, maybe chocolate just wasn't enough of a comparison. Throw in cigarettes and coffee though and things change (after all, coffee counts as water too).

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  7. I am glad you got through it lil. Wishing your family the best.

    I too enjoyed the pms/chocolate comparison. Yesterday was an interesting day for us, I pleaded with him to stop doing something and I was crying because it hurt but on he went. I was not turned on at all at the time but the rest of the day...........

    Now I want to be right back in that very situation.

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    1. dancingbarez,
      thank you.
      It always surprises me how something unpleasant that I want to end can leave me wanting simply because he did it even though I didn't want him to and didn't like it. Not sure that makes sense...

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  8. Hope you have a good weekend

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    1. tiffany,
      So far so good! Pretty easy to top last weekend lol.

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Play nice.