Friday, April 23, 2010

Gonna be a long week...

This morning I realized that it is going to be a Very long week. I cut down to 3 cigarettes a day ( down from 12-15, so for me that's pretty good). M is having a rough go of it having quit cold turkey as they say. He's done really good holding His temper and not taking out His frustrations on the boys and I. He's so lethargic and not Himself though that it is hard for me to deal with. I know it's just the nicotine withdrawal, it's just really rough to adjust to. He's normally a pretty upbeat and commanding person so watching Him sleep and slump around in a fog expressing an inability to make decisions is rather painful. Even Dominating doesn't seem to hold too much appeal for Him right now which I understand given how He is feeling. As long as I keep it together and be supportive I know the worst will be over this week after His body begins adjusting. I really am proud of Him for doing it so I know I have to suck it up and not be selfish

Submission has kind of become my shield of sanity. Life is so crazy on all fronts right now I have come to depend on D/s as the one constant that keeps me from falling apart, a place where no decisions or options exist. Where I am allowed to just Be. Meh, this is going to be a Very long week. If it's two weeks, I may try smothering myself with a pillow since we are short on bridges around here lol.

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Play nice.