Wednesday, December 19, 2012

December...

I'm not hugely fond of people. Therefore, it's not much of a surprise that I despise going anywhere in December.
After taking my mother to the doctor in a different town, driving back to her town, visiting four different stores, and temporarily forgetting where I parked, I retreated home vowing not to venture out again until Christmas. A vow which I was gleefully informed that I did not have the authority to make...

In short--December is kicking my butt.

In other news, being the property of a grade A procrastinator is going to put me in the looney bin.
Seriously, there has to be some submissive manual that clearly outlines the proper procedure wherein reminding does not become "nagging," and there's a happy compromise between my idea that things need to be done "right now, (but preferably yesterday)" and his approach that things can be done "a day or two after day after the day after that."

It's funny in print, but it is actually one of my biggest submissive struggles...

28 comments:

  1. That is a struggle. My Master is not too much of a procrastinator, but every now and then, well, it takes all my willpower not to say anything (anything after the first polite reminder is nagging).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ksst,
      crap, so...Ten or twenty times is going way overboard? That's what he said too. I was afraid he was right!

      Part of it is very much about adapting to him doing things on his time not mine. I have gotten better about it...Really! Though I guess how much better is dependent on the situation...

      Delete
  2. Oh I completely agree that the things that need to be taken care should be done when necessary. Not continually put off.

    It's a pet peeve of mine. It falls under "Do what you say you're going to do." In a timely manner is most preferred.

    To me, that's being reasonable.

    But this is why I'm sometimes glad I run my own house. Far away from His influence. Because at times I just want something done when I want and how I want it done. LOL

    Good luck trying to sort that out in your life!

    *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. just another sub,
      I kind of prefer them done before necessary lol.

      In all fairness, he is nothing if not a man of his word--he says he'll do it when he gets to it, and he always does.

      My life is more under his influence than my own lol. Truthfully, I wouldn't have it any other way though...

      Delete
  3. Living with procrastinators is hell. I'm gonna write a post on it. And yeah, it sounds funny, but it sucks.
    -sin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sin,
      It's hard to want everything done yesterday when one is at the mercy of someone that has no issue with it being done tomorrow isn't it?

      Delete
  4. Me too, Me too, Me too.

    I would be in that bin right next to you if Master was a procrastinator.

    Luckly he being Military means that is not his way of life.

    Picking him was NOT an accident :)

    ~faithful

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. faithful,
      Alpha does have a somewhat odd approach in that, when he's going, he doesn't even slow down to breath until he's done with whatever he's doing. But I think that kind of contributes to procrastination too--it's much easier to prioritize and forget everything else when working 12-15 hours a day, especially when that everything else lacks immediate importance. If you didn't want it done yesterday anyways lol.

      Delete
  5. He's never a procrastinator if it's important to him. Funny how that works. Although, to be fair, if it's important to me he doesn't procrastinate either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sunnygirl,
      I have the issue of felling that everything should be done last week (and in the hamster wheel of my mind, it all ranks high in importance, regardless of what it is), even if it isn't actually important until next month...It's not conducive to gracefully accepting the other approach lol.

      Delete
  6. I totally sympathize. Mine is a huge "do it in his own time" procrastinator. Over the years I've learned to ask for timelines... Or give timelines... And I make the asking of timelines part of the original request....makes us both think about how important the job really is, in comparison to other things going on... But I am not a sub...so I can also nag. I just don't like nagging all the time, makes me feel like I am not a good wife :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Antimama,
      Lol.
      Nagging is severely frowned upon around here. And timelines sound great...They just don't seem to work around here.

      Delete
  7. oh i have the opposite problem, my Master is one for everything being done now or asap whereas im laid back and yeah the procastinator, of course he gets to tell me when i have to do something.

    Rather than see it as nagging, i call it being 'helpful' and 'suggesting' lol

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tori,
      I call it "helpful suggestion." He has some other words for it lol.
      Now you have me wondering if it would be more difficult the other way around...

      Delete
  8. I'm not really a procrastinator, but regularly I postpone chores. Not because I want to, but when Lisa sees me doing chores, that's a great time for her to think about what else she can make me do.
    To Lisa the chore is completed as soon as she has told me to do it. Time to think up a new chore!
    The problem is that with chores she is always right. Yes, it has to be done. And she likes rubbing my nose in that fact.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bas,
      What better time to think of what else needs to be done than when something is already in progress? That way you can be sure to avoid boredom lol.

      Delete
  9. I'm a procrastinator and he still moves more slowly than I do!
    Unless it's something he really wants. Then things happen! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. jz,
      it does seem to work like that doesn't it?
      Come to think of it, he doesn't seem to procrastinate reacting to my procrastinations...

      Delete
  10. That would be a tough one. i hate to feel like i'm nagging too, but my Sir (so far) wants me to remind Him of things. But it's early days...

    hugs,

    aisha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aisha,
      I do seem to have a slight issue with the fine line between nagging and reminding...Well, according to him. Lol.

      Delete
  11. From One Submissive to AnotherDecember 20, 2012 at 9:07 AM

    Took the words right out of my mouth! Lol...my problem is how do I trust him to get stuff done when he has proven one two many times that he doesnt get it done (prior to D/s in our relationship) Like I mean missing job interviews and important things like that when I stopped bugging him. He's gotten a lot better but I'm still afraid of history repeating its self. Giving up control is hard hard hard! Merry Christmas Lil, dont let it drive you nuts (if thats possible lol)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. From one sub to another,
      Ooh, yea--that's a pretty big deal. I was thinking of things like phone calls and the Christmas tree...
      And yes, giving up control certainly isn't easy!

      Merry Christmas to you too. I'll do my best to avoid complete insanity lol.

      Delete
  12. lil: Somehow I'm surprised to read this! (Not the Dec part and hating people there, I get you there)
    Yes. When you find the manual please share. This is an ongoing inner-outer struggle with me as well.
    Despite this, I hope you enjoy the start of winter and the craziness of the holidays :o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bleuame,
      I have been searching for that damn manual for years! It's somewhat like trying to find the lost city of Atlantis...

      I am crankily adapting to the snow, and have every intention of not going more than 14 miles from home until Christmas!
      Thank you.

      Delete
  13. I'm totally confused. I thought being submissive meant you gave up all those worries to him? If he's in control of when it happens, it absolves you from worrying about it. What a relief it would be to give it all up. If it didn't get done, then he can deal with the aftermath too...
    Of course this is being said from a submissive without a Dom, so I'm probably blowing smoke out my ass-lol. I was just surprised to read that you were struggling with this. It could be much worse, he could not care and let you do whatever you want.
    I wonder if nagging your Master only suffices in him delaying longer, just to prove he's still in charge....trying being contrite, subdued, and see if he doesn't reward you by taking care of it in a timely manner.
    Hope I didn't offend you by my comments. Consider yourself a very lucky woman to have a Master. I love your blog and appreciate you putting yourself out there so that others don't feel so alone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon,
      I am not offended.

      Because he can override me, he is ultimately responsible, yes. However, being submissive does not allow me to abdicate all responsibility.
      If a bill gets payed late and incurs an outrageous fee, we are impacted as a household. In other words, the aftermath affects us all. If he forgets, and I remind him, it saves us all the trouble.

      While being submissive does lighten the worry load in many ways, it's an interesting concept to me, that submission works in a way that absolves us from personal responsibility. My personal observations have led me to believe that such is not beneficial to relationships--be they built around power exchange or not.

      Your suggestion about being contrite and subdued does have merit; however, he doesn't work like that--he wouldn't put off getting a Christmas tree (which effects the children) because i had pestered him about it (just an example).

      I do consider myself lucky, and am glad to hear that you enjoy the blog.

      Delete
  14. Thanks for replying. I see what you're saying, thank you for sharing.
    I've never had a total power exchange relationship, so I don't have a clue what it feels like, which is why I said I was confused. There seems to be such a grey area of what each couple is like, what each sub is like....it's all a little daunting. Submission seems to be a wide range of definitions. It feels like there is a stigma that submission is wanted but yet you need to be strong at the same time....very confusing. What if you're not strong? How can a man expect you to give total submission....but then not completely submit everything?
    I'm sorry if this is a jumble of thoughts. I'm still learning....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon,
      yes, ttwd is very unique to the individuals involved.

      Imho, it takes strength to submit. On the surface, submission and strength might look conflicting, but they go together quite well in actuality.

      I'm not sure exactly what you mean by giving total submission and not submitting everything...is that in relation to what I said about personal responsibility?

      I am very familiar with thought jumbles, I have them all the time! I think that, to varying degrees, we are all still learning.
      I always welcome emails from subs, so feel free to send one my way if you want to.

      Delete

Play nice.