"Self-conquest is really self-surrender. Yet before we can surrender ourselves we must become ourselves. For no one can give up what he does not possess."
-- Thomas Merton
I found this quote today, and totally fell in love with it (falling in love with a quote--complete dorkiness I know). And yes, I really want to be here complaining about a multitude of things that make me irritable, but hey, I found other inspiration so I'm going with it.
In a way, even though I pursued him, (a fact that he still happily reminds me of) Alpha has always been the leader in our relationship. He was an adult when we got together, and I was not. I had already moved out of my parents house, and understood a lot of life concepts that many adults struggle with, but there's no substitute for time spent living in the real world.
He was the leader, but we had consistent power struggles. I used to wonder why we didn't evolve into a power exchange relationship years before we actually did. But I think that quote sums part of it up quite well--you can't surrender yourself if you don't know who you are, and you cannot be owned by another if you have never truly owned yourself.
By the same token, those years we spent before D/s were also important for Alpha to fine tune his self-control.
Perhaps Dominants are born (a debate I'll leave for another day), but Masters are made. And that making takes time. Kind of like the quote above only opposite--one must first Master themselves before they can Master someone else.
That's my randomness for today--I'll save the complaint listings for tomorrow after hauling two kids to work in the snow lol.
And just because I liked it:
"The Master is an artist , His slave the clay, with the whip He will shape her , with humility He will mold her, Some will admire her, But only the Master, not even the slave, will know her true beauty, for her true beauty lies in her love for her Master."