Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Little Epiphanies

I had walked away from attempting to write a blog post, when standing in my living room, I had one of those little epiphany things.
For the first time, I realized how huge slavery is in my life.
It has become so deeply insinuated into who I am, that there are times I have actually thought it wasn't there.
Because slavery is so much more than my image of it implied.

Have no doubt, my fantasy of slavery is hot
it is me on my knees begging to please
it is all those things that turn me on
it is surrender of flesh, mind, and soul,
it is dangerous and sweet
it is achingly and painfully, exquisite beyond belief.

Some days, that is the form slavery takes.

But it couldn't really take that form if not for all those little moments every day. Moments which create the space for that fantasy to make appearances in reality.

M/s is in the food I cook, the condition I keep the house, the choices I make, and the way I keep my hair.
M/s exists in the way he strokes my face, the tone of his voice when he speaks to me, the intent behind each touch of his hand, and the day-to-day life that we live.
Ms winds beneath the surface of all that we are like a river--always nourishing even when it flows unseen below the earth.

And some days, M/s prompts insane urges to please that incite unreasonable behavior. Like attempting to make crepes in a pan that has no handle...It might work...



21 comments:

  1. re:sign
    Holy Crap!
    How am I not in Mensa already???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe you are and they're notification system is malfunctioning?
      And holy crap, stay away for a few days and Blogger changed again!!

      Delete
  2. I love it..I love the picture at the end its so true :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. It is very exciting to have those moments when "fantasy makes an appearances in reality," isn't it?

    Love the picture!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Misty,
      oh yes--those moments are totally awesome.

      Delete
  4. On the bright side at least you can actually make crepes lol

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tori,
      lol, well I doubt that any self-respecting cook would have called those crepes...They were close though!

      Delete
  5. I love this post Lil. Love the pic!

    M/s is more than the fantasy isn't it. It creeps into many aspects of life, in subtle ways and becomes so ingrained we almost don't recognise. Aren't those moments when the fantasy becomes reality wonderful!

    Hugs,
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
  6. Exactly! You say it so well, and so beautifully.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love how you expressed your thoughts on M/s. Beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. His slut,
      glad you liked it. Thank you.

      Delete
  8. ^This^.

    You can make crepes in a pan that has no handle. But it takes a watchful eye, patience, timing and a really good sturdy spatula (if I am doing it in that kind of pan, I'll use pastry flour)...right..you weren't really looking to compare kitchen notes...but I couldn't help it...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bleuame,
      Oh, I'm always happy to compare kitchen notes lol. My biggest issue occurred in that phase where you pour in the batter and swirl it around the pan to make something resembling a circle...
      And thank god for spatula's! Except when they aren't used for their originally intended purpose...

      Delete
  9. Just found you here. I love these images and the description of slavery as you experience it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Refined Dominant,
      Thank you. I am glad to hear that you enjoyed it.

      Thanks for stopping by.

      Delete
  10. Just found you here. I love these images and the description of slavery as you experience it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I love that picture, and I think letting go of the fact that it's not the fantasy all the time is a hard part... but that's just me.

    Bekah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bekah,
      I think that accepting that it's not the fantasy all the time is something that happens to all of us somewhere along the road.

      Delete

Play nice.