Physical expressions of D/s are an integral part of ttwd. The physical is important--part of the whole if you will.
But no amount of physical Domination can replace knowing a submissive.
In the beginning, I think that we have a lot of fantasies of how it will be and how we want everything to go. And we want it all now.
Little do we realize, that it is impossible to experience beyond a certain depth until they know us. I mean, really know us in the context of power exchange.
The kind of knowing that we generally go through a lot of effort to avoid.
Throughout life we build walls. Some are small and weak, others are tall and mighty feats of engineering. Either way, they are defenses that take on varying forms. When one commits to living D/s, those walls have to go. Some come crashing down with ease in a spectacular display, others take years of dismantling stone by stone.
As an aside, walls serve the important function of self-protection, so there are many circumstances and people with which walls are extremely important and useful.
Behind the walls is knowing, and sometimes knowing is a very very dangerous thing.
Knowledge is power, and the knowledge that a Dominant accumulates, increases the power he has.
Every time we hide something, or tell a little "white lie", or tell ourselves that they don't need to know, or filter the truth, or don't admit the whole story, or think that they don't need to know; we make it harder for them to know us.
Because we don't always realize that there is no substitute for knowing.
Each and every little thing we hide becomes something that stands between us.
BDSM is stripping away the superficial, and if you want someone to read you like an open book, you have to open the cover. You must surrender to knowing.
When we say, "I want you to Dominate my mind too" what we are really saying is: "I want you to be closer to me than our skins will allow. I want you to step inside my mind and touch my soul. I am willing to bare all that I am to you." Then you hand them the keys to your inner world, and hope that they don't crush it. Because it is much more difficult to repair non-physical damage.
After we have sought it out and opened up, we aren't always aware of how far their knowledge of us extends. Until one day we realize that there are things they know, which we never even knew about ourselves.
I'm sure that it is an interesting experience, to really explore the mind of another person. And there is certainly no experience quite like baring oneself to the extent required for such an exploration to occur.
I think the interesting complexities of humanity create the possibility for it to be a lifelong adventure...
Nearly put myself to sleep rambling on. Guess that means I get to have another cup of coffee before weeding the garden!