I realized something today while I was browsing back through a couple of the sites I used to read when we first began exploring D/s--we have become that which I thought I could only dream of, something I was sure could only be a fantasy lived by someone other than myself.
The only times we aren't that is when I, for whatever reason, balk and run. Which, I am somewhat ashamed to admit, has been quite a bit lately.
I read something at Castle Realm today, and I realized, that's what Alpha does with me. It is why, sometimes when I check out, and find myself begging for help to come back, that He simply says "then come back to me," while I'm fluttering madly. It's about me making the choice to return because I want to. Not because I am called.
He has shown me that He is not the person I assumed Him to be. I am not the woman I previously believed I was.
There are many wondrous and scary things in this world. Some are both.
And ttwd? It is most definitely both.