I have been informed that my response times are terrible. You know, the time between when a command is issued and obeyed. I guess that's how I found myself in the kitchen making cookies at 9:45 instead of 9:15 last night...Naturally, that is not the kind of response I want to talk about right now though, lol.
I'm talking about a new and rather disturbing kind of response--where He says something and my body reacts regardless of what my mind is telling me. And it's ridiculously specific too. For instance, I can't cum unless He tells me to. I just friggin can't, no matter how badly I want to. Last night He said "yes." That's a green light to go right? Ummm, no. Because apparently, and very much to my dismay, I can't cum without the word He has been using every time for about six months.
And the other day, we were laying on the couch, not really doing anything, and He told me to relax. I felt my body just...do it.
Now on one hand, I gotta admit, it's all kind of cool. On the other hand? It's quite apparent that I am no longer the person in charge of some of my body's responses. And it's a little bit disturbing. Because, well, it's one thing to know something is possible--it can be another thing completely to actually experience it.