Friday, May 24, 2013

To Be Mindful

Mindfulness is a concept that I have been pondering lately.

To be mindful...It's important right?

Submission is very much about being mindful of one's Dominant, and no small part of that is being mindful of oneself, one's actions and reactions, of the way that we think and behave.
It is about seeing ourselves and our behavior as a reflection on him and who he is.

I think that when we are mindful, that is when we are able to bring grace to who we are and what we do.

Mindfulness is about avoiding those knee-jerk reactions that so often get us in trouble, it's about thinking before we speak, taking care that our actions have meaning.
It is about using coherent thought to guide our behavior in a way that pleases.
It is about living the meaning of what it is to be owned.

To be mindful is to be pleasing
to be the best of what they see in us
it is an awareness of ourselves and our interactions with others
it is about relinquishing control while retaining a sense of personal responsibility.

Often, submission is a repeating series of conscious choices, choices that invariably lead to the conclusion that the choices we are to make are the ones that our Dominants desire to be made.
After a certain point, many of those choices become so automatic, that we no longer realize there is any choice at all. Because while we are multifaceted, what we really are, is his. And all our choices become ultimately rooted in that fact.
Yet, we cannot get to that place without a certain degree of mindfulness.

So how we attain this thing called mindfulness?
I think that we practice it until we become...Mindful.

And yes, I am still stuck in the attempting to practice phase.


  1. Practice makes perfect, but I can't imagine any of us achieving perfect, it's just not human nature.

    1. sunnygirl,
      it really isn't human nature is it?
      I do believe that I am going to have to think about that...

  2. what an awesome post lil! that really spoke to me.

  3. I don't think practise doesn't make perfect, not in reality, it makes improvements as there is always room for improvement. So I think being mindful is about constantly improving yourself. It is also about the here and now, which is the self-awareness part, how the smallest actions effect those about you. Mindfulness is a concept I see linked quite abit to submission, so thank you for explaining this so well.

    1. DelFonte,
      I think that you make a very good point about mindfulness being about improving oneself. The here and now too--something that I Constantly struggle with.

  4. I love this! Mindfulness is something I've been adding to my daily schedule lately. It's amazing what a difference it makes. It's a funny thing-- because a practice is really about developing something-- or improving in the long term... but mindfulness is really about letting go of the future (and the past for that matter) and living in the moment. So, I'm pursuing and planning a future mindfulness practice in order to let go of the future and live in the moment. :)

    "I think that when we are mindful, that is when we are able to bring grace to who we are and what we do." -- really good stuff.

    1. Anne Onamous,
      Thank you, glad you enjoyed the post.

      Living in the moment is a HUGE struggle for me. A struggle that I would like to vastly reduce and therefor improve lol.

  5. while we are multifaceted, what we really are, is his. And all our choices become ultimately rooted in that fact.
    lil, this i absolutely brilliant, and so very true.

    How do we get to mindfulness? Exactly as you said, you practice. Is mindfulness a destination? Nope. It's a journey. The road twists, turns, goes uphill sometimes, we never truly, arrive, but we can enjoy the benefits of the practice, like athletic training, practice makes the journey a bit easier, and much more enjoyable.


    1. June,
      Ooh la la, do you know how much I adore the word "Brilliant" being used in reference to me?

      I think you're right, it is very much a journey--like D/s. Not so much where we are going, but who and how we are along the way.

  6. I absolutely LOVE this post. I am a yogi and as such I practice mindfulness in my daily life. I actually began this journey into D/s because I realized that my mindfulness practices had spread to nearly every facet of my life... EXCEPT my marriage. So I went about trying to figure out how to change that. Thank you for the reminder that submission is another form of a broader practice. <3

    1. Submissive Wife,
      glad you liked the post.

      I think that, depending on our approach and relationship,there submission has a place in more of those broader practices than we usually realize.

  7. Beautiful post.

    i agree so much that mindfulness and submission flow into each other, support each other, enhance each other... But i don't think we practice mindfulness til we get good at it - mindfulness IS a practice.

    You are already exactly where you need to be today.


    1. Sofia,
      thank you.

      "You are already exactly where you need to be today."
      I love that. If I could just keep that concept in the front of my mind, I think that it would greatly improve my daily life and the way I approach it.


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