Monday, October 6, 2014

A Question of the Difficulties Surrounding D/s and Kids

Here's my response to the last question from Foxy Canidae. I did say that I was going to drag them out as much as possible...

"What is the hardest thing for you when it comes to TTWD and having kids?"

Hmm...

I would have to say the lack of private time. Our arrangement came into being after our first child, so our D/s has always existed within the constraints of parenthood.

The day-to-day parenting decisions are left to me, and while we always discuss our options, the big final decisions involving them are usually left up to me.
Having boys, I used to worry that the obvious overtones of dad getting the final say in damn near everything would make them into those terrible men who think that they get to do whatever they want because they're men.

The thing is...Mom runs a tight ship, and dad always backs mom up. They know that I'm the one they will have to convince if they want something--I'm the chore and extra cookie authority around here.
Interestingly enough, they have about as much disdain as I do for anyone who seems to consider themselves superior to anyone else, so I don't worry about that anymore.

I think I got sidetracked...

The hardest thing is simply time.
Time to play.
Time to express just that part of us.
Time to ignore reality and just...Be that.

20 comments:

  1. True life - love that your boys disdain those with an attitude of superiority - good job and hope they point that out to other kids too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sunnygirl,
      they are nothing, if not opinionated. Lol.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. gg,
      :)
      It's a bit difficult sometimes, isn't it?

      Delete
  3. Same for us. Mistress K. and I have precious few free moments together and we cherish everyone of them. There will come a time when time together will be less and less of a problem, and we both very much look forward to that time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sub hub,
      on one hand, I look forward to that time. On the other hand...My babies will be off on their own and that thought makes me a bit sad.

      Delete
  4. It can be so hard to find time to do everything with kids always around.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ah, yes, kids... then thrown in the fact that one of them is an insomniac and the other rises early....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DelFonte,
      an insomniac AND an early riser?? My condolences...

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Blondie,
      Well, at least we aren't alone!

      Delete
  7. You just described my life too. Little man sees mom in charge, with dad (Sir) backing her up. He sees dad helping around the house and knows that as part of our family he is also expected to do his part. But he also sees a wife who respects her husband and the love that is shared.
    Finding privacy and time to express TTWD is the biggest challenge. Luckily kiddo is old enough to sleep through the night, and so we have our evenings free.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beth,
      My eldest didn't sleep through the night until I was pregnant with the little one and cried (yes, literally) about how I was never going to sleep again if he didn't let me sleep until the baby was born.
      Thankfully, the young one has been sleeping through the night for a while now...Though, I still think I need about ten more years of recuperative rest to catch up...

      Delete
  8. We don't hsve the kids issue, yet somehow privacy and time is an issue here too.

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roz,
      odd how that works out, isn't it?

      Delete
  9. Time! And as they age, awareness! I call my blogs my journal and try to keep them private, but it does make it harder to even write on here when he is awake. (And they stay awake later and later... so time!) :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kitty,
      yea, what is with that? For years they don't sleep through the night an they get up at the crack of dawn, then they start wanting to stay up all night and get up at noon. There's really no winning...

      Delete
  10. I definitely agree! Master and I started TTWD after we had our first son, so we have always had issues with time to play. Now I have 3 boys and I always wonder if the East we are together will impact them. I honestly hope it does because we live each other so much and do stuff for each other... I hope they all look for that in their spouses... someone to love, to cherish, to have fun with, to laugh with, and to do things for... ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Foxy Canidae,
      time is it's own special hurdle, isn't it?

      I agree--I think that plenty of children are given relationship examples that are less than ideal--regardless of whether their parents are vanilla or not. Setting the bar really is about modelling a relationship where partners treat each other right.

      Thanks again for the questions. I needed the inspiration something desperate!

      Delete

Play nice.