I think that I'm about to contradict myself twice in one post. Not the small sort of contradictions that you sweep under the rug before anybody notices either.
Did I mention that it's going to happen more than once all in one post? Coffee. Coffee is important here.
So...I have stated more than once that we will always be a happily married couple, with or without D/s.
After some deep introspection inspired by my longest "off" phase in the history of our dynamic, I realized that's bullshit.
For me, there's never going to be any kind of real "we" without D/s. With anybody. And by real, I mean the kind of love that makes your heart flutter every time you see someone; there would be no passion, no intimacy. And probably a sad lack of respect on my part. For me, D/s is passion and intimacy. I don't know how to feel true passion without it. And intimacy...Well, there's nothing quite as intimate as having someone crawl around in your mind and take over your body, is there?
My sexuality is inherently and completely wrapped up in Dominance and submission. Without D/s...
Dominance inspires feelings in me that I seem to be otherwise incapable of experiencing. Maybe those feelings of passion and intimacy are normal for
I have also said that D/s is like the icing on the cake, but it isn't really just the icing on the cake. Cake is good with or without icing.
When you make a layered cake, you put a dab of icing on the platter under the bottom layer of cake. Just a smidgen. Without that tiny bit of icing, the cake slides around when you go to put the next layer on, and is far less stable.
That little, seemingly insignificant dab of icing makes all the other layers possible, and keeps the cake from falling to the floor (yes, I realize that some of us are more prone to dropping things than others. Lets not point fingers. Ahem).
And the layers...humanity is made of layers, D/s is created out of layers on top of layers--icing holds the layers together.
So maybe I won't contradict myself too much with this one--perhaps D/s really is like icing. But not just the icing on top. Oh no...