Yes, the catch here would be "For the most part."
I don't "Do" lies of omission. Just doesn't work--even if I could pull it off, I would be completely miserable until he dragged whatever it was out of me.
Lies to myself that I firmly believe however? Different story altogether. I am actually quite good at them.
Uh huh, I'm still going on about the whore thing.
The thing about lying to oneself is that, if you do it for long enough, what you say almost becomes true because you have spent so much time telling yourself that it is.
More coffee anyone? Great, bring me another cup too please.
One of the problems is, that it becomes a bit like the butterfly effect--one little thing causes changes to other little things, and before you know it, something big that you hadn't anticipated changes as well.
Then one day you wake up to the uncomfortable realization that someone else knows a part of you far better than you do, because they chose not to believe the lies that you told yourself.
Where on earth am I going with this? Well I do have a direction, (or two) in mind, but it might not land on earth.
I have always had terrible self control. I mean, really bad. But I place a great value on Alpha's self control, so I spent a long time thinking that I had to cling to my own
The thing is, by spending so much time trying to exert self control, I wasn't leaving room for his control.
Oh yea, the lies I tell myself.
He knows the sexual part of me far better than I know it myself.
He knows that I'm a hopeless flirt, that I have a severe weakness for men with a Dominant bent, that I have great morals which are not complimented by my shoddy self control, and that I'm kinky enough to make the majority of people cringe (including myself).
He also knows how very much I don't like to admit those truths to myself, let alone him. But if I haven't admitted them to myself, then I'm not hiding them from him right?
Logic might not be my strong point, but I'm pretty good at twisted logic!
Now back to that pesky butterfly effect thing...
By spending so much time repressing traits related to my sexuality, I did a damn good job repressing my sexuality altogether. I would like to say that it was completely inadvertent, but I'm trying to work on that whole "lying to myself" thing lol.
I think though, that his control of me far exceeds the control I had/have of myself, and that he knows my sexuality so much better than I do because he is more accepting of it than I am.
Perhaps being a whore isn't the issue at all--but that what matters is whose whore, and the control of the person she belongs to...