Friday, July 18, 2014

Graceful Acceptance

It's something that I have worked hard on over the years. Of course, there is evidence, (in print no less) that demonstrates numerous failings of my efforts at graceful acceptance.

He looked so totally overwhelmed this morning, that I felt kind of bad for getting so frustrated yesterday. On the bright side, I let all my frustrations out on the blog, not him. That counts for something, right?
Though, I have always felt that there's this fine line between displaying real feelings, and public disrespect. Of course, there's not really a whole lot of options for venting, you know. I can't exactly call my mom up and complain about this whole slave thing and his procrastination...That would go over super well.

Anyways...

Sometimes I find it odd, the circumstances in which I find myself able and not able to display graceful acceptance. In the beginning, I thought it would be the kinky stuff, the stuff that had to do with my body. Rules about what I wore, where I went, who I talked to...

Silly, silly girl.

Very rarely is it ever any of those things. It's usually the nitty gritty day-to-day life stuff. It's the sick kids, the work schedule, procrastination and demand, checking the mail and paying the bills. It's having to help him with work, always on his schedule regardless of mine, because it's his work. It's those moments when I disagree with the decisions he makes.

Graceful acceptance, it's a beautiful thing. I strive for it, practice it as best I can, and so often fall short. I think it's an important ability for a slave to have. Even now though, after all these years, I still struggle with my search for grace.



14 comments:

  1. Graceful acceptance....a term i have to have tattooed someplace. i am reminded of it when i start to state my case why His 'request' is not going to work...and i hear Him say...all i want to hear is a "Yes Sir'. Like you, it is often the mundane that trips me up, not the kinky. Good luck with the graceful acceptance...it is a big challenge.
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. abby,
      I'd say I need it tattooed on my forehead, but I wouldn't see it enough for it to be effective...
      It really is a big challenge, but hey, we all need something to strive for, right?

      Thank you! I need all the luck I can get, and maybe a chill pill or two...

      Delete
  2. They say it's about the journey & not the destination.
    And somehow (maybe he doesn't say), I think He likes you just the way you are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. geekie kittie,
      well, the journey is certainly rife with mountains to climb!

      Thank you!

      Delete
  3. Oh gosh, me too. I don't know even what to pick out. Just all of it, yup yup. That goes for me too. Sometimes I vent privately to friends online, but then I feel bad for burdening them, and for any disrespect that might be seen to be shown toward my Master. But I don't FEEL disrespect, I just worry that that is what they may see.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ksst,
      That's how I feel too! I want to be honest about my feelings, but I don't want it to be seen as disrespect because that's not how I feel. There's a fine line there somewhere...If only I could always see it!

      Delete
  4. Sometimes you just need to say it out loud. Lol at talking to your mom about it!!

    So far the kink has definitely been the easiest for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Misty,
      Yes well, she's the only person I really talk to on the phone...So there goes that!

      Sometimes I think about D/s overall like school, and the kink is recess. Maybe that's a lame analogy...My brain's being dysfunctional today.

      Delete
  5. But you are still searching and haven't given up yet. As Misty said, sometimes you just have to vent.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sunnygirl,
      nope, never give up! Apparently, it's my motto.

      Delete
  6. Venting is healthy IMO, I think it helps with acceptance. I'm lucky that I have a close friend who is also an s-type that I can vent to, it keeps me from losing my mind and doing it to Sir. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awkward Frog Blue,
      I can imagine that it must be nice to have someone like that! It's certainly not neighbor-talk. Lol.

      Delete
  7. It's usually thr every day stuff for me too. I agree sometimes you just need to vent and I think it does help with acceptance.

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roz,
      venting does help. Sometimes we just gotta get it out or it festers. I often feel much better after I get it out.

      Delete

Play nice.