Friday, August 1, 2014

My Aching Head...

I know that I have comments to respond to, but I'm drowning in paperwork, and it's easier to come here and thoughtlessly complain.

Seriously, I know I'm not going to win editor of the year anytime soon, but some people take it to a whole new level of incompetence.

"Threw" means you tossed something at somebody, not walked through a door.
"Contently" is not a valid substitute for "Consistency".
Spell check is a very useful feature of any word document.
It is preferable to use the same sized font for an entire paragraph.
Use the word "an" when preceding a word that begins with a vowel.
It is important to listen to the client when formulating documents, and the documents you write should reflect the methods your client actually intends to use. Not whatever bullshit you just pulled out of your %**&*^
Professional business documents should not look like they were written by a dyslexic 12 year old.
Consistency is important--you cannot directly contradict yourself from one page to the next, and the proper spelling of a word will not change just because you started a new sentence.
For the love of all that is holy, do not substitute semicolons for commas!!!

My head hurts.

Looks familiar...Except there are no spelling mistakes!

Just look at what I have become!

I'm sure this is what I'll see should I have the misfortune of glancing in a mirror...

And please people, for the love of whatever God you believe in, check your fucking facts!! There's this  miraculous invention called the internet...

Okay, more coffee and then back at it. I feel better now. I think. Maybe.


  1. Laughing, not at you but at your very true logic

    1. Blondie,
      glad you got a laugh! It does seem a bit more humorous today...

  2. As someone who holds grammar and the English language sacred, I can agree that I often cringe, and rage over the typing and language skills of others. My ex had absolutely no sense of spelling or grammar skills, and I often would have to read his messages over three or four times just to get enough context of what he was saying to guess at how to respond.
    I am however, one of those nerds that reads books on grammar for fun, so I'm probably not a normal case.

    1. Loki,
      I will admit to having some fairly large shortcoming when it comes to grammar and punctuation, but there are limits dammit!!

  3. Oh....i would be a raving lunatic by now.......i am POSITIVE none of them are former students of mine....LOL.
    hugs abby

    1. abby,
      LOL! I did imagine the look on my English teacher's face as I was going over these documents...There was steam pouring out of her ears and she was threateningly brandishing a textbook...

  4. Oh dear, I'm afraid there are more grammar faults in my blog than (never know when to use than or then) in a Dutch cheese. Sorry about that. I'm getting quietly out of the backdoor before anyone noticed I was here....

    Wonderful to blow off steam, isn't it? I do it often at work.
    Everyone thinks I'm right when I am complaining about the decay of the use of the Dutch language... :-)

    Have a nice day,

    1. Han,
      Ah well, I think that we could let you off on this one since we don't seem to spend much time creating legal documents in Blogland!

      Lol yes, it's quite wonderful. I felt much better afterwards.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  5. You know I am one with you in your pain...


    1. Jz,
      should I not admit that when I scan a post of mine and catch a horrific grammatical error, I think of you and the possibility of getting kicked?


  6. I'm sorry I'm laughing at your expense...I just can't help it. Go ahead and kick me if you want.

    I know my grammar is far from perfect, yet I feel a little better about myself after reading this :)

    1. Misty,
      LOL! I promise not to kick you if you promise never to share what I am about to admit, fair?
      Upon rereading this post after hitting publish, I discovered that I had committed the egregious error of using "comas" instead of "commas". I was feeling better about my grammar before that. Oh, the irony...
      And just in case you're tempted to check, I corrected it as fast as my grubby little fingers could hit the edit button.

  7. Sorry Lil, had to giggle at this. I know my grammar aint perfect:) I feel your pain. Hope the coffee helped a little.


    1. Roz,
      Lol. Mine isn't either, but some people take it to a whole new level...

  8. P is grammar and spelling fiend. He won't apply for a job if the advertisement has errors in it. A surprising number do!

    1. DelFonte,
      Well, I do think that it's reasonable to want to be employed by someone who can write an advertisement correctly...

  9. I think there are a lot of us who think grammar is important, but it is really hard to find each other in a sea of texters! My personal peeve is reins, reigns, and rains. Notice the Oxford comma in the previous sentence. (lol) At least I only have to deal with it in casual life, but to do it for a living would probably drive me nuts!

    The internet comment made me think of my thesis adviser who used to refer to facts being proctologically derived.

    Good luck keeping your editing monster safely caged and at peace!

    1. Cygnet,
      Ooh yes, the various rains! How do you feel about "Bare with me?" and "Her soul was laid bear"? Sorry, wasn't trying to make your brain bleed. Couldn't help it!

      Omg, that's awesome! I am totally incorporating "Proctologically derived" into my vocabulary.

  10. Look out world, lil's on a terror. For crying put loud! Proof read your comments to her!!!!!

    In all fairness, I completely agree with you. I got an invite to a wedding where my "presents" was requested. I couldn't toss it into thee trash fast enough!!!

  11. Sarah,
    Lol. I'm not so picky about comments. It just seems to me that professional documents should be written, well, professionally!

    Haha! They didn't care about guests really, just wanted presents!


Play nice.