Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Honesty and abuse
i read a post on fetlife his morning asking about honesty and past abuse. By the time i found it, the thread had become an outright argument so i didn't bother commenting. The original question revolved around a Dom wanting his sub to be honest about past abuse and raised the premise that victims of abuse were less likely to be truthful. This is where the poster and i parted ways on our positions. In my personal experience, abuse doesn't make a sub a less honest person. It simply helps them create vaults and places to hide pain and icky experiences. It's a lot easier to be honest when you have complete trust in the fact that the person you are talking to is not going to judge or think less of you. Replies to the thread praised therapy and hollered about the evilness of using BDSM as therapy. i've been to therapy...yea, it helped some and i may not have made it to where i am today without that little bit of help. Did it help me "fix" my issues? Only in as much as it showed me i had them. The only thing that's actually helped has been ttwd. i have been pondering the different kinds of "dirty" lately, and it's not something i find easy to put into words but here goes. i spent years trying to wash off an invisible layer of filth. i felt as if i had been sullied from the inside out and nothing could make me clean again. In a way, D/s has changed that. Submitting to One, knowing that i am His filthy whore, and His alone, has created a sense of purity in me which is difficult to describe. For each experience i am there. It consumes and overwhelms me. i cannot run and hide inside the chambers of my mind. Pleasure and pain, tears and laughter, it all melds together and burns away the cobwebs of days long past.