Interesting things happen when someone you love is dying (i know that sounds callous, but i feel i'm in a position to be callous about death if i want to lol). First, you realize what the dying person is made of. i mean, who they Really are under the facade of humanity. Then, the fun part: you discover what You are made of. If you think you're tough, if you think you're weak--what you Think you are doesn't matter because it's going to be stripped away. By the time that person dies, you will no longer be who you were before. How you cope in those moments will show you what you're made of underneath your facade of humanity. After that, you see with blinding clarity what Other people are made of. Grown men may cry on your shoulder, women will call you weeping and begging for comfort (really, it's ridiculous. i had to screen all my mother's calls for a week. i may be weak at times, but some people are just pathetically selfish). You will see who really cares when the shit hits the fan. Some will sit the death watch by your side, some will bring you food and something to ease your loved one's pain, some will run away and cry, some will stay away as if death itself is contagious, and some will dig a six foot hole by the light of the moon. Then, when your loved on is securely in the ground, the shell of who they used to be hidden forever from the light of day, most of those people will fade away. To afraid to see what they are really made of.
i am not now who i was before. But now i know what i am made of.