Being submissive has made me a better parent. i know that might seem odd, but it's true. The biggest instance is punishment. i have learned not to threaten punishment and not follow through (okay, so it's pretty basic, but everything seems much more cut and dry Before you actually have rug-rats running around. They don't come with an owners manual you know). Yesterday i had "diarrhea of the mouth" as M likes to say and He warned me multiple times that i had it coming in a big way. "At least 25, maybe My hand, maybe the belt, maybe a coat hanger." i don't know what exactly is wrong with me lately. i have been all stuck in my head and shit which seems to prompt mouthiness and a desire to be not-submissive. Anyways, come bedtime, i was expecting to pay my dues. i sucked, we fucked, it didn't come. He asked me what i was thinking about (it's a real pain in the ass when someone knows you inside out), i tried to get around it, because i just wanted to sleep and really had no interest in having my ass blistered. i fessed up to some confusion regarding the absence of the promised punishment. He lifted an eyebrow, "I was going to let you off easy, we could just call it a mindfuck and leave it at that." Horror must have been clearly reflected on my face. i was headed for a no fun whipping but couldn't stop myself."A mindfuck?! How the hell am i supposed to know if you mean it or not when you say something. Why should i listen if it all might just be a mindfuck?" The eyebrows lowered and He reached for His belt, me squirming and protesting that it was okay and He really didn't have to this time. "If I don't you will think less of Me." "i won't think less of you, i'll just think you don't have follow through and mean what you say." Let me just point out, that forthcoming honesty is a real bitch and that belt hurts something awful.
But He loves me enough to punish me for my own good, He loves me enough to do what He says He will. He loves me enough to follow through.