Saturday, August 18, 2012

And the Universe Said...

Dear Disgruntled Sub With Displacement Issues,

Since you asked so nicely, I have seen fit to grant part of your request. I hope that you appreciated the conspicuous lack of personal injury occurrences yesterday. Though the enema bag request was being a bit greedy don't you think?
However, in my infinite graciousness, I deemed it appropriate to insure that the purple carpeted stairs were unusually easy to clean.

Please note that such exceptions do require some additional charges. So I thought you might like to spend two hours on one kitchen and an hour with your hands in a toilet. As an added bonus, I threw in some vehicle issues (you will not be getting the requested 300,000 miles out of your car engine).

You are welcome.

Sincerely,
The Universe

P.S
Just so you don't get bored, I thought it might be nice to make sure you will be spending another hour on that particular toilet at some point. I know how much you hate a job half done. And those vehicle issues are going to continue haunting you for some time to come.
All thank you cards can be sent to:
The Universe Is Laughing@that'swhatyougetforasking.com

Delivery failure notice:

The recipient, A Disgruntled Sub With Displacement Issues, has marked your communication "return to sender" and is no longer receiving mail at this address.

20 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Fondles, glad you liked it. It was the best possible spin I could put on things lol.

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  2. Loved this!!! So freakin' funny!

    Belle:)

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    Replies
    1. Belle, thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.

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  3. Oh - i thought the title was a fill-in-the-blank. Cuz i know lots of things i could fill-in-the-blank for that one.... Personal 'sperience with that one.

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    Replies
    1. gg,
      Ooh, now there's an idea! In the future I will be sure to save a space for the fine print and everyone can fill in the blanks lol.

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  4. Replies
    1. Kitty,
      it may very well be! Though I have to say, the response regarding my car was a bit stronger than I had anticipated. I almost wonder if I tempted fate just a bit too much lol.

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  5. Replies
    1. Kat,
      happy to hear it made you smile!

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  6. Replies
    1. Dee,
      You're on the Universe's side aren't you?! Lol.

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  7. Hey, the universe NEVER listens when I ask for something! How is that you get to rate a response?

    Of course, considering the content of the response, perhaps I'm better of NOT rating...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jake,
      LOL. The wisdom of my doing so is questionable. I think that perhaps it is safer not to.
      The car is actually a really big deal. But I'm saving the real whining for when it actually finishes going kaput.

      See what happens when you challenge the powers of the universe? They laugh at you and rain on your parade lol.

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  8. Oh gods, love this lil!

    Hmm...at least the Universe came through with some of your request? But I'm wondering about the balance, here :P

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    Replies
    1. BlueAme,
      Yes--I am feeling that it might have been a touch unwise to make so many requests. The charges stated in the fine print are exorbitant!

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  9. LOL - I thought I was the only one who had days like this! Glad to know I am in good company.

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    Replies
    1. June,
      Oh yes--you are certainly Not alone there!

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  10. lmao im sorry to hear that you havent been having a good day but this certainly made my day lol

    x

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    Replies
    1. tori,
      lol. Glad it to hear it. It may be, as kitty said, a new series. But I am debating how wise it is to tempt fate to blatantly lol. Perhaps communications with The Powers That Be would be safer?

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Play nice.