Dear Disgruntled Sub With Displacement Issues,
Since you asked so nicely, I have seen fit to grant part of your request. I hope that you appreciated the conspicuous lack of personal injury occurrences yesterday. Though the enema bag request was being a bit greedy don't you think?
However, in my infinite graciousness, I deemed it appropriate to insure that the purple carpeted stairs were unusually easy to clean.
Please note that such exceptions do require some additional charges. So I thought you might like to spend two hours on one kitchen and an hour with your hands in a toilet. As an added bonus, I threw in some vehicle issues (you will not be getting the requested 300,000 miles out of your car engine).
You are welcome.
Just so you don't get bored, I thought it might be nice to make sure you will be spending another hour on that particular toilet at some point. I know how much you hate a job half done. And those vehicle issues are going to continue haunting you for some time to come.
All thank you cards can be sent to:
The Universe Is Laughing@that'swhatyougetforasking.com
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