Saturday, August 25, 2012

Lines in the Sand, and How We Live El Mundo Bueno or El Mundo Malo

An email I received in response to my Me. Him. Her? post made me start thinking about why I am willing to do some of the things that I am willing to do even though I don't necessarily want to. Still with me?

 Alpha having sex with another woman is not a hard limit for me. There are not a whole lot of things that either of us define as being limits we will not, under any circumstances, cross. But there are definitely lots of things I don't want to do.

The stuff he will not do is what defines my limits. Even if some of them are not things I would refuse to participate in, they become things that I will not do.
Because he says so.

Everyone has limits that they believe they will never cross. Some are like lines drawn in the sand--slowly over time they are eroded and washed away. Others are like mountains and outlast entire lifetimes. Which is very much as it should be.

And wow isn't there lots of options to up the ante when it comes to ttwd. I happen to think that we are pretty tame in the grand scheme of possibility lol.
Since our gates are individual structures, what is a major scaling of the walls for one person, does not necessarily have the same impact on another.

The thing is, I believe that every physical activity is, in one way or another, just a way of opening some kind of gate in the mind.
Pain is a path to a certain state of mind, pleasure is another path, humiliation yet another branch on the road, control a path of it's own often entwined with the others. They all lead to one of two places.

Grab some coffee and a snack because I'm going to take one of my side trips to check out the butterflies.

There is a concept phrased in Spanish as, “El mundo bueno” and “El mundo malo”, which translate into "The good world" and "The bad world". It is wonderfully described in a book called, The Fifth Sacred Thing. My father used to describe them as the left and right handed paths. Though I have since learned that there are many different interpretations of those particular terms.

In El mundo bueno, pain brings a release and expansion of self. Walls fall and we become more than we were. Humiliation brings us closer and puts us in a state of being that we find fulfilling. Giving and taking of control becomes a beautiful and fulfilling dance that allows us to be who we really are. Ttwd washes us clean and soothes the scars we carry inside.
Death is the ending of one cycle and the beginning of another. The pains of birth are an opportunity to have the privilege of viewing another reality and returning home. A sprained ankle is an opportunity for rest, and a rainy day is replenishment for the earth.

When we fall into El mundo malo, pain eats at our soul. Humiliation breaks our spirit, our walls of protection disintegrate. Control does not allow us to experience who we are meant to be. Ttwd is abusive, leaving us unclean and damaged.
Death is the ultimate loss and heart-wrenching sorrow of the end. Birth is one step into death and we cannot return to our own reality. A sprained ankle is a break, a loss of work and sustenance for our families. The rain becomes hail and kills our carefully tended crops.

There is a very fine line btween El mundo bueno and El mundo malo. With ttwd, sometimes it's easy to fall into the bad reality because it can bring us so much closer to the good world.
Sometimes our lines in the sand are simply barriers to El mundo bueno. And sometimes we move those lines and discover that El mundo malo waits on the other side.

So while we can walk seemingly similar paths in the same direction, what leads to a good reality for one of us, may end in a bad reality for another. And that is why we try to be careful when we open new doors, tear down walls, explore new paths, and move our little lines in the sand.

I am willing to do the things that I am willing to do because Alpha helps me stay in El mundo bueno. He carefully looks over my walls and lines in the sand to see which reality waits on the other side. And he stays away from the paths that he thinks will take us into El mundo malo.

34 comments:

  1. Beautiful - and fascinating. And absolutely - all the rituals and tools of ttwd have the potential to be very very good - or very very not. And a great deal of that is up to the one in charge - the timing, the context, and really - his feelings about it. I think you short yourself in it though - you have to have exactly the type of self awareness that you do here to really stay on the good path.

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    1. gg, unfortunately, my self awareness seems to come and go at will lol. Though I do try to hang onto it!

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  2. I really liked this post, lil, it gave me a lot to ponder about. Thanks... :-)

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    1. stumblingchi,
      glad to hear you liked the post. You are quite welcome.

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  3. The stuff he will not do defines my limits... and that sums up why it is so hard to talk to them sometimes.

    I love this post and the way you delineate the lines of perspective and reality.

    Thank you for taking the time to do so for my reading pleasure.

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    Replies
    1. Kitty,
      I hadn't quite thought about that difficulty from this perspective, but you're right. I wonder if the whole "talking" thing ever gets easier...
      Glad you enjoy the post.

      And I live to serve! *grabs some rags in preparation for Alpha spewing coffee all over the computer.

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  4. Replies
    1. Sss,
      I'll take that as a compliment and offer sincere apologies.

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  5. The Fifth Scared Thing--wonderful read.
    Love how you broke down the mysticism and applied to all ttwd--I strive to do this at times--you do it so perfectly well :o)
    Thank-you.

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    1. BleuAme,
      I really love that book. Sad to say, it's not a member of my library...
      Thank you. And you are very welcome.

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  6. Replies
    1. trazuredpet,
      I tend to get a bit lost in all this thinking sometimes...

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  7. Oh, I very much like the concept of El Mundo Bueno and El Mundo Malo! I believe that your are right on the money with how they operate within TTWD. While your terminology is new to me, I have often thought about how the same acts may be viewed positively or negatively depending on the viewer's state of mind and perspective. The two viewpoints of TTWD you describe ring very true--both manifest themselves in our house, and sadly, perspectives can switch between them with little notice...

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    1. Jake,
      I believe it is a concept held in many cultures that just tends to carry different names. And we don't give it much weight until we really sit down and contemplate it.

      I think that, for the most part, many of us walk a fine line between El mundo bueno and El mundo malo on a daily basis. And it is inevitable that we find ourselves falling into one reality or the other as we go.
      But being conscious of them gives us more possibility of spending less time in El mundo malo. After all, it's difficult to get away from something if we don't acknowledge it's there in the first place!

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  8. I loved this post lil! Thanks for sharing!

    Belle:)

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    1. Belle,
      Glad to hear you enjoyed the post! And you are welcome.

      Delete
  9. Wow, a very thoughtful take on TTWD and limits. Beautiful!

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  10. Loved this never heard of EL Mundo and EL Mundo Malo but how very apt it is, this is why i love your blog you give a fresh perspective.

    x

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    1. tori,
      it's one of those concepts that I love because it is so versatile and can be applied to so many different aspects of life.
      And sometimes I spend so much time on my perspective that it doesn't seem very fresh to me lol.

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  11. Very insightful as always. Thanks.

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    1. sunnygirl,
      thank you and you are welcome.

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  12. I especially like that you are so eloquent. And I agree with you that :

    "Since our gates are individual structures, what is a major scaling of the walls for one person, does not necessarily have the same impact on another."

    That is so true. It reminds me that everyone of us is an individual, every couple different, and every experience, even if it's a repeated one, can have a different impact one day to another.

    Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Fondles,
      I have my eloquent moments! Unfortunately, none of them seem to be verbal...
      Glad you enjoyed it. And you are quite welcome.

      Delete
  13. "I believe that every physical activity is, in one way or another, just a way of opening some kind of gate in the mind. Pain is a path to a certain state of mind, pleasure is another path, humiliation yet another branch on the road, control a path of its own often entwined with the others." Excellent. You're writing your own submissive's creed.

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  14. Kevan,
    thanks for stopping by. I think that,in one way or another, we all write our won creed--the difficulty is remembering it as it evolves lol.

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  15. This is so lyrical, and haunting in its way. I love the left and the right handed paths. As you say, sometimes all the difference can be made by which hand that path was handed into :)

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    1. Emen,
      welcome to my crazy little corner.
      And it really is amazing what a little step in one direction or another with the right or wrong person can do isn't it.

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  16. Great insightful post lil. I like your interpretation :)

    Dee x

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Play nice.