An email I received in response to my Me. Him. Her? post made me start thinking about why I am willing to do some of the things that I am willing to do even though I don't necessarily want to. Still with me?
Alpha having sex with another woman is not a hard limit for me. There are not a whole lot of things that either of us define as being limits we will not, under any circumstances, cross. But there are definitely lots of things I don't want to do.
The stuff he will not do is what defines my limits. Even if some of them are not things I would refuse to participate in, they become things that I will not do.
Because he says so.
Everyone has limits that they believe they will never cross. Some are like lines drawn in the sand--slowly over time they are eroded and washed away. Others are like mountains and outlast entire lifetimes. Which is very much as it should be.
And wow isn't there lots of options to up the ante when it comes to ttwd. I happen to think that we are pretty tame in the grand scheme of possibility lol.
Since our gates are individual structures, what is a major scaling of
the walls for one person, does not necessarily have the same impact on
The thing is, I believe that every physical activity is, in one way or another, just a way of opening some kind of gate in the mind.
Pain is a path to a certain state of mind, pleasure is another path, humiliation yet another branch on the road, control a path of it's own often entwined with the others. They all lead to one of two places.
Grab some coffee and a snack because I'm going to take one of my side trips to check out the butterflies.
There is a concept phrased in Spanish as, “El mundo bueno” and “El mundo malo”, which translate into "The good world" and "The bad world". It is wonderfully described in a book called, The Fifth Sacred Thing. My father used to describe them as the left and right handed paths. Though I have since learned that there are many different interpretations of those particular terms.
In El mundo bueno, pain brings a release and expansion of self. Walls fall and we become more than we were. Humiliation brings us closer and puts us in a state of being that we find fulfilling. Giving and taking of control becomes a beautiful and fulfilling dance that allows us to be who we really are. Ttwd washes us clean and soothes the scars we carry inside.
Death is the ending of one cycle and the beginning of another. The pains of birth are an opportunity to have the privilege of viewing another reality and returning home. A sprained ankle is an opportunity for rest, and a rainy day is replenishment for the earth.
When we fall into El mundo malo, pain eats at our soul. Humiliation breaks our spirit, our walls of protection disintegrate. Control does not allow us to experience who we are meant to be. Ttwd is abusive, leaving us unclean and damaged.
Death is the ultimate loss and heart-wrenching sorrow of the end. Birth is one step into death and we cannot return to our own reality. A sprained ankle is a break, a loss of work and sustenance for our families. The rain becomes hail and kills our carefully tended crops.
There is a very fine line btween El mundo bueno and El mundo malo. With ttwd, sometimes it's easy to fall into the bad reality because it can bring us so much closer to the good world.
Sometimes our lines in the sand are simply barriers to El mundo bueno. And sometimes we move those lines and discover that El mundo malo waits on the other side.
So while we can walk seemingly similar paths in the same direction, what leads to a good reality for one of us, may end in a bad reality for another. And that is why we try to be careful when we open new doors, tear down walls, explore new paths, and move our little lines in the sand.
I am willing to do the things that I am willing to do because Alpha helps me stay in El mundo bueno. He carefully looks over my walls and lines in the sand to see which reality waits on the other side. And he stays away from the paths that he thinks will take us into El mundo malo.