Monday, August 20, 2012

Make No Mistake...

It has been approximately six months since I have been punished for anything. I can hear some of you  gasping in surprise, "with that mouth? Who knew you could behave yourself for so long? It's a miracle!"

Well...Not really.

See, the sky did not fail to send you notice that it was falling, hell is still hot, and pigs aren't flying. Feel better now?

He just decided to stop. That my self-punishment might be more effective because I wouldn't get the same sense of purification that happens when the slate is wiped clean. And yes, after a certain point, I begged for punishment. He refused.

There hasn't been a whole lot of Dominating and submitting going on around here. In fact, I had contemplated a post consisting of only one line, "what is D/s?".

And I had started getting really snarky. A couple of days ago, he said he had had enough. That he was starting to get really ticked off by my attitude and he was going to punish me.

"Enjoy sitting in that chair today, because you aren't going to be sitting on anything tomorrow!"

And I was irritated about it thinking something along the lines of, "he can't punish me if he doesn't want to Dominate me in the first place!" So naturally, since my brain-to-mouth filter seems to be in a state of permanent failure, I said, "we don't do that anymore! You can't punish me!"

He was mad and I knew it.

I went to bed. He didn't come punish me.

So I woke up in the morning with a somewhat relieved sense of "he didn't follow through on his word. I knew it!" Insert overinflated sense of self righteous putouttedness.

Later that morning he grabbed the back of my head in a vice-like grip. Yanking my head back, he leaned over and hissed in my ear, "I didn't punish you last night because I thought that I might be bending our agreement about not punishing you in anger. But make no mistake, I will not tolerate this attitude out of you any longer. You are Mine until the end of existence."

Several screaming swats of the cane later, and suddenly I didn't feel in the least bit snarky anymore. I actually felt really sheepish and remorseful for being such a self-righteous bitch.

And very very satisfied with life.

14 comments:

  1. Ooh - i've been in that exact place before - and uttered the same words "we don't do that anymore, you can't..." with the same outcome too.

    I keep pushing to see exactly what form he wants vs. what i can get away with - somehow it's really useful to know he's watching the edges. He keeps expecting me to be what i ought no matter who's watching. Fair enough...but...it really does feel better when i can feel him. Enjoy your week.

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    1. gg,
      it does make such a difference knowing that they are watching the edges doesn't it? And I can see why they expect us to be what we aught whether they are watching or not...But it's a whole lot easier and feel so much better knowing they are!

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  2. yay. hurray. um.. i think? right? unless i've read you all wrong... i'm assuming you are glad that he took control ?

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    1. Fondles,
      You read me right to be sure!

      Delete
  3. We don't do punishment spanking at all, but mine did threaten one this weekend. Amazing how much that helps, lol. Of course, the actual spanking the next day worked even better :)

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    1. faerie,
      More than anything, I think it was the words that did it for me. The cane did it for him lol.

      Delete
  4. Its a difficult one this because i know many dont like the concept of punishment but personally i need it for the reason you stated..to have a clean slate, because i need closure, i wouldnt respond well to not being punished if i deserved it, i need to be held accountable for my actions.

    I dont get punished very often because from the very start he came down hard on disobedience and his punishments are not nice, which of course they are not meant to be and although a huge part of why i dont get punished is because i like doing as im told and pleasing him there is the element of the threat of punishment which i genuinely fear as well as the sick feeling in my gut that i have disappointed him.

    x

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    1. tori,
      The clean slate does mean so much doesn't it? And I do think that no matter the physical consequences, that sense of having disappointed is the worst of all. But without the punishment it's hard to move past.

      Delete
  5. I tend to get a bit snarky too when it has been a while. Glad he got everything back on track. The cane is good for that for sure. I usually start shaking when it comes out but miss it when it gets put away.

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    1. dancingbarez,
      I hate that cane with an absolute and total passion. I'm always happy to see it put away lol. It's the gift that keeps on giving!

      Delete
  6. that's great! So glad he stepped up and gave you what you craved.

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    1. Renee,
      amazing what few simple words can do isn't it.

      Delete
  7. Glad you're back to where you want to be.

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Play nice.