Monday, August 6, 2012

When the Leader Stands Still

I'm not great at following. A real shocker right? I question, get distracted by pretty flowers, just have to look and see what's under that tree, maybe follow that bird...You get the picture.

The thing is, even with all of that, I have found that it becomes a habit to follow someone when they lead over time.

And it's much easier to follow a leader in motion. Sure, an occasional pause in the road doesn't mean one is lost. It gives a chance to check out that tree, follow a bird or two, and smell the roses.

So when Alpha stands still I'm good to sit down and look at the sky from a slightly different perspective. For a little while.
Then I start wandering and looking down other paths. Maybe make a side trip or two. Lead myself for a little while. But after a while I find that I wandered too far and it's hard to find my way back.

You would think that finding a still object would be pretty easy right (hehe, I called him an object). But it's not.

Sometimes he pauses on the road to make me stop running in circles. He pulls me close and makes me be...Still.
This time though, he stopped and didn't seem to notice I had wandered off.
Then I came back. Over and over again. But he was looking at the sky and never seemed to see me standing there.
So I fell to my knees and he lifted me to my feet. I wanted to stay on my knees, but it felt like he couldn't see me through the trees.

It is much easier to follow a leader in motion.

So how does one follow when the leader stays still?

I'm sending the unicorn back to FA--the damn thing is stepping on my flowers.


  1. I think when the leader stands still I bang into him. Or I just lead instead (which doesn't actually work all that well!)

    1. sin,
      You know, I think I bump into him too. Then I start wandering (which is my version of leading. So you can see it doesn't really work here either lol).

  2. I'm not too patient, when the leader stalls for too long I take side trips too. If I come back and he doesn't see me, that's when I start poking him. It usually has the same predictable results as poking at a bear with a stick, lol. Not a wise idea, but then again, I never claimed to be wise :)

    1. faerie,
      I gave up on poking...The results, while usually predictable, can be unpleasantly unpredictable.
      Oh who am I kidding, I lie--I do poke, just not as much as I used to lol.

  3. Maybe it's best to ask the leader why he is standing still.
    Sometimes it is just a question of different directional pulls that are cancelling each other out and result in no motion at all. A little push in a random direction can break that stand still.

    1. Bas,
      did that...Though not umm, quite so clearly and straightforward lol.
      I'll be the first to know...I think.

  4. Ooh, I'm not patient either. And I can't believe that damn unicorn!

    1. Renee,
      patience is a virtue I'm still working on developing lol.

      And right? Aren't lowers supposed to grow where unicorns walk and stuff like that?? I think I got a faulty model.

  5. I very much do what faerie does too. Along with being super independent with not even a submissive fingernail in sight....... like right now for instance lol!

    Dee x

    1. Dee,
      you guys were supposed to give me a perfect answer wrapped up with a bow to store next to my unicorn! Lol.

  6. Your post made me really think. I know when something like this happened with us, my husband explained that he needed time to figure things out. Being in charge andd leading the way is not an easy job. He told me that he was doing a lot of praying. I felt hurt and cried, yelled and poked. And when he figured it out, things returned to good, well actually better. I wish I had advice for you. Maybe bring him to his knees and let him know that you are proud of him and you do not expect him to be perfect but this is what you need and only he can give it to you. Ask him what he needs. I really hope that things will start moving again.

    1. Blondie,
      thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience.
      It's not easy when we feel lost and expressing it seems to make things harder on them.
      I think it is one of those things, like many things, where approach is everything. And honestly, my approach needs work lol.

  7. Lil,

    Hope everything works out and starts moving soon.



Play nice.